Bread John
Punk Rock and Parmesan
Recent - https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:566sub3fdgtvfbz6rofa7ngj/feed/aaamhjf5b37di
Decent - https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:q6gjnaw2blty4crticxkmujt/feed/bangers
- You can't even roast a baby in the oven for an hour at 200 degrees celsius these days because of woke.
- Reposted by Bread JohnBring back tamagochis. I want to kill something pure and innocent
- Reposted by Bread JohnDespite being a creature of a damp, dank, subterranean cavern, I am surprisingly flammable.
- Reposted by Bread JohnIt's supposedly the NBA finals but they keep coming back every year
- Reposted by Bread John“i’m good and you?” I say to my coworker as the government is kidnapping my community, bombing everywhere with brown people, and my immune system attacks my own body leaving me disabled.
- Reposted by Bread Johnmy actual deal breaker: you keep your indoor temp at anything above 70°F
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- Reposted by Bread Johna dude referred to my tits as cherries and because i’d never heard it before I had to ask “what cherries where?” and now we are in a weird standoff about melons versus cherries and how am I 46 and this is my reality
- Reposted by Bread Johnit takes a lot of effort to get a crowd to start the wave which no one at this funeral seems to appreciate
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- Reposted by Bread JohnAn escape room, but we just lock kids in a library and they have to use the Dewey decimal system to find their way out.
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- Reposted by Bread Johnsex so good he forgets every word but your name and now you have to order for him at restaurants
- Reposted by Bread Johni’m not ready for ww3 i haven’t had a threesome yet
- Reposted by Bread Johnpeople with big boobs should be able to squeeze them real hard to zoom out of uncomfortable situations like a loose balloon
- Reposted by Bread Johnsorry i cannot handle any more “THIS SCARY THING SHOULD SCARE YOU” headlines i am already dead
- Reposted by Bread Johni’ve been doing some introspection and i think i should start mongering more
- Reposted by Bread John[looking around the internet squinting, hands on my hips] i’m…i’m good i think i know enough men already
- Reposted by Bread Johnmake sexy time more fun by announcing “we are now approaching the tunnel please remain calm” in your best train conductor voice
- Reposted by Bread Johni used to think it was “cannon father” like the big bad dad of all the baby cannons
- Reposted by Bread Johnso who’s coming to the wwiii orgy/cuddle party/we had a good run humanity event i’m arranging the body pillows and i need a head count
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- Reposted by Bread JohnThe first rule of fight club is: you do not tell your mom that I let you watch fight club, kids
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- Reposted by Bread John“Employees must wash hands every 5 minutes” -sign at OCD Fridays
- Reposted by Bread JohnI just flew home from a transcendental meditation conference, and boy are my oms tired.
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