🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️
Thoughts from the dark side of a married man. It is what it is and I ain't shit. (Not) New & (Certainly Not) Improved
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My Musings
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Best? Of
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- Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️when the roombas unionise it's over for you sonsa bishes
- Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️if i was thrown into a volcano, i’d simply drink all the lava
- Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️Back in the 80s, I had a license to ill. I also had a learner's permit to be funky fresh.
- Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️when u see mother is eating bread and butter
- Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️[Not loaded yet]
- Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️why is it frenemy and not husband
- Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️Oh sure, everyone likes the weird girl when they want to get rid of a curse
- Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️Every time I type something wrong an angle gets its wings.
- Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️I know that I could never chop up a body with an axe should I ever need to dispose of a corpse. It’s not that I’m squeamish or anything, I just lack the necessary upper body strength.
- Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️The abyss called. That's enough. With all the yelling.
- Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️[Not loaded yet]
- Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️Sex is best when all parties sound like seagulls fighting over a bag of parking lot fries
- Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️[Not loaded yet]
- Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️I woke up with all these thoughts of you
- Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️The veil between this world and the next has been pierced. We apologize for the inconvenience.
- Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️how many likes do i need to get for the yoyo
- Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️My lunch break is often taken in my office with the lights off because this sunny demeanor needs to reset in the dark to recharge
- Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️[Not loaded yet]
- Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️i don’t see how The Who doesn’t open for every superb owl
- Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️I’m shy at first and then gradually turn insane.
- Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️[Not loaded yet]
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- Frodo at a bakery is Lord of the Pies
- Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️[Not loaded yet]
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- Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️I think your dog would really like me
- Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️bragging to my kid that i can use the word “yeet” without being cringe. her face disagreed.
- Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️[Not loaded yet]
- Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️🎶I'm just using my female attraction*, on a typical male...🎶 *farts
- Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️the worst thing about my roof leaking is having to take my phone off silent so i don't miss contractors calling me back
- Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️In a drawer of silverware, I’m the seafood fork you never quite knew what to do with since you have a shellfish allergy
- Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️[Not loaded yet]
- Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️[Not loaded yet]
- Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️Was on the verge of a total meltdown, but found the missing sock just in the nick of time.
- Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️Judge me if you must, but at least have the courtesy of getting to know me first.
- Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️[Not loaded yet]
- Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️[Not loaded yet]
- Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️A super soaker loaded with ice water is a shrink ray if you know where to aim.
- Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️[Not loaded yet]
- Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️[Not loaded yet]
- Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️[Not loaded yet]
- Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️[Not loaded yet]
- Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️[Not loaded yet]
- Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️[Not loaded yet]
- Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️I told my wife I’d be her chief of staff…. …and by staff I mean.. I KNOW she exclaimed
- Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️[Not loaded yet]
- Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️Believe women when we tell you one of your buddies is a piece of shit. We know
- Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️[Not loaded yet]
