Jon Drake
Too much lobster on the plane, the plane won’t stay up. 1/2 of https://bsky.app/profile/blastzonepod.bsky.social
- There’s always somebody trying to start an Instagram for a dog that doesn’t really have that star quality. That dog is not charismatic enough
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- Reposted by Jon DrakeFor decades the Right has daydreamed about saving their country from monsters, they finally got the chance and it turns out they love the monsters. The monsters are even monstrous in the exact ways they fantasized about! You never have to listen to these guys about anything again
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- You need to stand out if you want to succeed in this economic landscape. Don’t just email your resume- write it on a brick and throw it through the CEO’s window
- Reposted by Jon DrakeAmazon Web Services hosts massive surveillance systems for both ICE and DHS. Citizens Bank provides nearly $1 trillion in credit & bonds to private prison companies. AT&T has a $147 million contract to provide communications services to DHS. Know who is profiting from ICE’s cruelty.
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- Skipping ahead to the picture section of a non-fiction book to give myself a little treat
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- Got it—you want to build wings out of wax to escape from the labyrinth. Way to take the initiative! You’ve been warned about flying too close to the sun, but here’s why that’s probably overly cautious-
- The tortoise and the hare is a very famous parable about the importance of not taking a fucking nap in the middle of a foot race
- We needed more time with Lalo. I didn’t remember how late he joined the show
- Porridge is not what I assumed bears would be having for breakfast. Didn’t even crack the top 10 tbh
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- H&R Block on January 2nd: you didn’t file your fucking taxes yet? Are you insane? You’re going to fucking jail
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- What if we throw in a free set of Truck Nutz for every vehicle
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- At the dog park commiserating with the pugs about our sleep apnea
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- Everybody jokes about Trader Joe’s employees flirting with customers, but last time I shopped there my cashier was like “Wow you just got a bunch of treats.”
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- Augustana made Boston sound like a magical place full of hope and the first time I went there somebody threw an iced coffee at me from a passing car
- My goal for 2026 is to listen to even more versions of the Sultans of Swing solo on TikTok
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- Teaching my kids about classic art
- Dear Santa, You didn’t get me the book about anger management that I asked for and I am fucking furious.
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- Celebrating Christmas the normal way (playing the hit board game “Kenny G: Keepin’ It Saxy”)
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- Happy Christmas Eve Eve, or as we call it in my household, Compound Butter Day, to all who celebrate
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- Who thought LinkedIn Wrapped was a good idea? “You sent 47 DMs to hiring managers that went unanswered. Congrats on not killing yourself!” thanks I guess
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- Pregaming sleep by blinking more often
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- Whole squad got guns like Buckaroo Banzai
- The meaning of Christmas is don’t be rich or we’ll send ghosts to fuck your shit up
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- December is such a magical time of year when you have kids. Nothing better than bolting awake at 4:00 am because you forgot to move an elf
- Seeding a pomegranate feels like a pretty normal fruit-preparing experience until you have to spank it with a wooden spoon
- Sharing one of my favorite playlists for this time of year!
- They can only talk like this to like-minded weirdos. If you said this to a real person in the real world you’d get your shit rocked
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- Oh so AI isn’t art? Then explain this: “Urkel dunking on LeBron.” It’s just words now but it easily could be a really bad video of Urkel dunking on LeBron
- Not posting my Spotify Wrapped because I’m concerned my taste is too good and it will intimidate people
- So much of being a good DJ is knowing how to google “(song) BPM”
