Tom Worsley
Comedy writer. Rep'd by JFL.
BBC Writersroom Scottish Voices 18/19. TV, radio, kids
Big Finish pilot - Pre-order Comedy Playhouse here www.bigfinish.com/releases/v/comedy-playhouse-3326
www.linktr.ee/tomworsley
www.tomworsley.co.uk
- 'nice foods in hot climates healthier than our horrible food in whatever climate the UK decides to have'
- If they launched these in the UK the Daily Mail would incite a riot and Richard Tice would demand they be renamed Golden Straight-Time.
- Ohh this is a bad start to 2026. An absolute icon.
- I need help. Yes, I'll narrow it down to avoid confusion. I really want to read some fiction this year. But there's loads of it. Too much. Loads of ruddy books. But I can't read political diaries and books about record labels forever. So I could really do with some recommendations...
- Me: i am a seasoned traveller. Also me: i have to sign my passport or it's not valid what?
- Victor reads the Mirror, called staring at a horse's backside like listening to Ken Clarke, tears apart a Tory candidate about the state of the hospitals, and hates Giles Brandreth. Victor was always a man of the people.
- Trust me to fly the exact same day that anyone who has never actually been to an airport before chooses to travel.
- I am now on a coach to the airport. I will arrive at my destination in approximately 3 years.
- Oh. I'm emigrating by the way. Didn't I say? I'm sure I mentioned it... Let's see what 🇦🇺 brings (apart from sunburn and the constant threat of wildlife.)
- Just assume the pictures of monkeys in bikinis aren't real.
- Wayne getting emotional over his brother John leading Macc to that win is genuinely quite lovely.
- Chris was one of the first people in the Glasgow stand up scene I met. He was so welcoming and helpful and gave me a chance to die on my arse at the State Bar.
- "Her task will be to commission shows with global appeal but a local angle."
- Sat near a lost umbrella on the train so now I'm on edge because someone will be primed to call me back when I get off to tell me I've forgotten my umbrella.
- Reposted by Tom Worsley[Not loaded yet]
- Bit worried my calendar says this as I don't remember casting or rehearsals or anything.
- Reposted by Tom Worsley[Not loaded yet]
- Woken up and my life is exactly the same as in 2025. What the hell??
- Why not start your 2026 with some big lols...?
- Just remembered that my 2003 New Year's Eve night was spent watching Ricky Gervais's first live DVD, Animals, so suddenly staying in and eating Coco Pops and feeling sad doesn't seem so bad.
- My main lesson from 2025 is that I learned my father uses Lynx shower gel to wash his hair which blew my mind.
- Me: "Right. Got to finish Stranger Things. I've come this far" *within 5 minutes of putting it on* "we've got to get to the uPsIDe dOwN to find VeCna!!!!???" Me: "GOD NOT 20 HOURS MORE OF THIS"
- Hold on. It's Charlie BIGHAM not Charlie BINGHAM? I'm genuinely shaken.
- Reposted by Tom Worsley[Not loaded yet]
- Every Christmas I watch Klaus I always get sudden allergies in my eyes...
- 🎵 "Are you hanging up your stocking on your wall?" No, Noddy. That would be insane. Hammering into the masonry. 🎵 "With logs on the fire and gifts on the tree..." Are you mental, Cliff? On? Have you ever seen Christmas? A Switch 2 would bring the tree down. Well done, Christmas is ruined.
- Reposted by Tom Worsley[Not loaded yet]
- Reposted by Tom Worsley[Not loaded yet]
- Reposted by Tom Worsley[Not loaded yet]
- Reposted by Tom Worsley[Not loaded yet]
- Reposted by Tom Worsley[Not loaded yet]
- Reposted by Tom Worsley[Not loaded yet]
- Xmas rule to make life much easier: Don't buy gifts for anyone who has their own disposable income.
- There's a Christmas radio ad for a shop which lists some comedy 'bad' gifts you could get, one of which is a 'Railway Tunnels 2026 calender'. That sounds like an ace gift. I'd be delighted with that.
- Don't gaslight me. www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...
- Vinted ad: Good condition. Some slight marks, will probably wash out.
- Every one of these pant-wetting moaners should be forced to complete any digging by hand.
- Whenever the Sky cameras cut to Fergie overseeing yet another Old Trafford calamity I will never not think of this and laugh.
- I really do feel like I shouldn't be getting spots on my face aged 41. I'm surely past that. It's like suddenly getting homework or having to play rugby against my will.
- Spotify taking up gigabytes of space on your laptop has to be one of the biggest cons in the history of computers.
- UK towns and cities are totally car-centric; completely geared towards cars and being able to park. Except when I want to drive and park somewhere.
- I love the lottery of drilling into the walls and ceilings of a Glasgow tenement. Will it be biscuit or will it be the vault door of Fort Knox?
- Well, Villa-Arsenal was a bit good. Best game I've seen in ages.
- Of course it's Croatia. We must just keep playing Croatia at all times.
- Rio Ferdinand managing to be the worst bit of an event that included Donald Trump and Gianni Infantino is quite something.
- Any chance the World Cup draw is done in 20 minutes like a church tombola rather than 5 hours of stilted scripted corporate FIFA chat by a revolving door of the dullest retired footballers on the planet?
- I know what'll cheer me up. Bit of Spotify... Oh. Well why don't I just crawl into a grave and let the earth take me.
- "Any electrics in this cupboard?" Me: *thinks* No. No there isn't. "No? Not that you know of..." Yes, so please let me hide and not answer technical questions ever again. WHAT IS AM LIGHT SWITCH??
- Trades people update: Had trouble pointing out where all the sockets are in the flat I've lived in for 5 years and couldn't find the last one in the bedroom. The electrician not impressed with me telling him "I can't remember where it is."
