Jeff
my name is jeff 👍
36
he / him
🇺🇦 🍉
- fåther i must taste of the march mallow
- cheesebird moment 😏
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- headset? on knuckles? cracked heart? broken yep, it's gamer time!
- what if instead of "sex toys" they were called "sex tools" that would be funny i think
- do you want to come over and scream at the sky together
- hey
- Reposted by JeffOf all the things in the history of the world that definitely did not happen - this is the pinnacle.
- i saw a bridge today that had a "for sale" sign on it lmao
- two hours of poleing tad buys a 8 by 12 four foot pad im a frog of means by no means king of the toad
- if you're having hog problems, i feel bad for you, son i got 99 problems but groundhogs ain't one!
- we are punxsutawney phil we carry the flame!
- cum? you mean boyslop?
- well guys as a pennsylvanian let's just say i have a few horses in this race & i've heard from the committee that ol' punxsutawney phil saw his shadow again this morning which means 6 more weeks of groundhog jokes!
- kevin malone's favorite yoga position is "downward facing casserole"
- make sure to leave out milk & lumber for groundhog claus tonight!
- reminiscing on days of groundhogs past...
- what's next? a donkey predicts whether or not it's gonna rain? please.
- they call it "groundhog day" but i know a beaver when i see one 😒
- if beavers can predict whether or not there's gonna be 6 more weeks of winter...what else do they know? can i just go in the woods & ask a beaver who's gonna win the super bowl?
- on the first day of groundhog my beaver said to me, six weeks winter unto thee!
- who decided the best way to determine the weather was whether or not a beaver sees its shadow anyhow
- if you're so offended by people speaking spanish that you need to watch an "alternate halftime show" you don't deserve to watch television. time out. go sit in the corner with the rest of the degenerates spanish was being spoken in this country 300 YEARS before any english speakers arrived 🙄
- live by the groundhog, die by the groundhog WELCOME TO PENNSYLVANIA
- what with global warming and all I feel like we, as a people, deserve 2 groundhog days. one for winter, one for summer.
- have your groundhog call my groundhog
- up the punx(sutawney phil)
- pennsylvania to the rest of the states : i showed you my groundhog please respond
- He's listening to Fleetwad Mac
- would you still love me if i didn't have mommy issues
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- i bless the worms down in africa
- w. i require medical assistance
- squawky in the magic birb circle (i do not know what it is!)
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- are we talking about albania now 👀
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- if you click the "go live" button on bluesky you just go to jail
- a helped hamburger whimpers
- 5 blue jays flew into the tree right outside my window this morning. FIVE. how epic is that. i freaking love blue jays. the most i've ever seen in that tree before is 2.
- why does having canadian friends these days feel so much like having friends who live over the berlin wall...
- i had a dream the other night that i went to the doctor's american moment 🫡
- two cannibals are eating a clown one turns to the other & asks "does this taste funny to you?"
- backshots here?
