Bourbon Loving Teddy Bear
⚖️ 🥃 🎶 🤣 📸 🤷🏾♂️
- In my head I keep pronouncing the TPUSA halftime show like King Julien talking about the foosa.
- FedEx just sent me a text notifying me that even though my package is delayed it will arrive by 1/29.
- Five Classes I took in College: Modern Political Thought Human Sexuality Medieval History Criminological Research Methods Earth Science: Astronomy & Meteorology
- Administration is considering screening Melania in immigration detention centers to get people to self deport. Supreme Court will ultimately have to resolve a circuit split about whether this would constitute an 8th amendment violation.
- Back at the spa for a massage and when I laid down she told me to "breathe in and clean my mind." No es posible señora.
- Puffing and never passing
- On vacation and about to get a mani pedi at the spa, but butching it up by calling it a manual/pediual
- Reposted by Bourbon Loving Teddy Bear[Not loaded yet]
- Just inserted the tip AND adjusted the strap.
- Reposted by Bourbon Loving Teddy BearWe told you we all needed weapons to defend ourselves against a future government that would shoot us in the streets. What we didn’t tell you is that we have helped bring you that government. by the NRA
- Last night I dreamed the impossible dream. I was missing a class during 2L because I was taking a deposition in NYC.
- Someone at work just sent a message about a banana "peele"
- Why bother there's nothing great happening out here
- Greenland Iceland Maryland what’s the difference
- What’s your sign? (You damn right)
- "Martha Luther King Junior." "What did he do?" "He died for our sins." That kid cracks me up every time
- "She's dead." "Ah...nature's NDA." ☠️
- Last night my 11 year old niece discovered that I have been married twice and said "HOW!?!"
- I did!
- A Boulevardier. Do I have Campari?
- I bet Facebook has been a shit show the past few weeks, but I may have to spend my Monday on there calling out hypocrites posting MLK quotes.
- My mom (talking to her friend in my presence): My daughter is my head child and my son is my heart child. She is very smart and analytical, and he’s very caring. Me:
- My Uber driver is doing 58 in the fast lane. Is that even allowed in Atlanta? Afraid we are going to get pulled over for going to slowly.
- So glad we are in the office every day now so that I can say “nothing from legal” in person instead of via Teams.
- Her: you are a hot mess Me: so....you're saying I'm hot?
- Not the worst law enforcement related story I've heard in the past week.
- My fried eggs are as bad as my scrambled eggs are good.
- I know a clanker written piece when I see one
- Is it finally time for me to watch Idiocracy?
