Variance Hammer
Writer for variancehammer.com and goonhammer.com. Co-host of Lost to the Nails and the Plastic Pressgang Podcast. Fan of the Horus Heresy, Adeptus Titanicus and myriad historicals. Avid terrain enthusiast. He/him/his
- Reposted by Variance Hammerski jump penis doping story only underscores the advantages of shape and drape over slim fit clothing www.theguardian.com/sport/2026/f...
- Reposted by Variance HammerMiddle aged white men (and I’m 49, so I’m in the demographic) absolutely need ridiculous Dad Hobbies or they get squirrely. I think if you’re can’t prove you have a preexisting Dad Hobby or 2 by age 45, you get entered into a national hobby draft and get assigned one. It would solve so many things.
- An alien that’s not in Star Wars or Star Trek
- Reposted by Variance HammerThere are a lot of men out there who do not see any of the logistics happening around them and they're like "wait, where the fuck did these hand warmers come from?" Look at every kid wearing mittens, and that's your answer. From the people who have been silently keeping hands warm for centuries.
- Reposted by Variance HammerLast term I tried an experiment: I walked into my Tech and Design Ethics class, admitted that I had *no idea* what to do about ChatGPT - so I would let them figure it out. As in: their first project was to decide and write the ChatGPT policy for the class. Here's what happened:
- Reposted by Variance HammerIf you're living somewhere outside the USA, one thing you can do is pressure your leaders to boycott World Cup and Olympic events here.
- I'm going to start appending "merely" in front of "Abolish ICE", to make it clear that *is* my "reasonable centrist compromise position".
- Really love how GW has apparently abandoned the notion of digital rulebooks.
- Reposted by Variance HammerThis is such ass...
- This country hates women so much. ca.news.yahoo.com/ex-porn-star...
- Reposted by Variance HammerThe vengeance of heaven is slow but sure.
- Reposted by Variance HammerThis is actually a weirdly boring time to specialize in International Relations because there's no actual intellectual substance to any of this. Like, yeah, man. Shit's fucked. Fucker's nutso. That sort of insight is why I'm a fancy-pants political scientist you should all respect and consult.
- @badsquiddogames.bsky.social At the risk of the peegs being set on me again - I think a Empire-style women's Blood Bowl team would be cool. Mostly because I want to name a team the "Altdorf Ladies Firearm Enthusiasts Society" (aka The Gun Show).
- Reposted by Variance HammerI love architects. They are like "I can Fix Society if I just make the Right Shape of building" it's adorable and sad
- In honor of the new female Custodian models, I delved into the depths of the archive of my long-dead Hateful Bird Site account for the time when I did some back of the napkin math about how much of a "retcon" this truly is. Spoiler: It's not. Like probability and narratives? Read on.
- One of the primary complaints have been that we have never *met* a female Custodes in the fluff (ignoring that we now have). So I started wondering...if we say there truly have been Custodians the whole time, what's the likelihood that was by chance?",
- Basically, how much mental effort do we have to expend to go "Yeah, they were really always here, you just never met one because of luck"? This relies on two things: 1) We don't actually *meet* that many Custodian characters, and even fewer who we have viewpoints of." 2) That the Emperor is a tool.
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View full threadBut in terms of how far we have to strain to make this particular retcon cohere with "canon" (a hateful concept) as it already existed? Hardly at all. We haven't met any (or now, many) female Custodians because we've met *very few Custodians at all*. Most of them died in the Webway. It's just luck.
- Reposted by Variance HammerThis is a little series that seems to be kicking off over at Goonhammer that we are going to keep our eyes on! BattleTech: Metals for the MechCommander Who Has Everything! Check it out and let einherjarvalk know we sent you! www.goonhammer.com/b... #BattleTech
- Reposted by Variance Hammerreject modernity return to web 1.0
- Reposted by Variance HammerI have some bad news. One, if you need to use ChatGPT for your graduate application letter, you are not ready for graduate school. Two, no, not "everyone is doing it" and those who don't do it aren't "losing out." ChatGPT is not an advantage.
- Reposted by Variance HammerThis is the kind of shit that would make you completely outside the bounds of any ancient society, the gods bestow generational curses for violating hospitality
- Reposted by Variance HammerIf you are in Seattle, please go patronize this store because this is amazing content/promo 😂 (laughing to keep from crying, and I do kind of low-key want that orange spider plant I have never seen that before) Source: www.instagram.com/reel/DTQrTqZ...
- Reposted by Variance HammerThe Adeptus Custladies have finally arrived in Warhammer 40K.
- Reposted by Variance HammerSome of you have forgotten that only three years ago you were perfectly capable of writing a text, writing an email, telling a bedtime story to a child, and it should worry you that powerful companies have convinced us we can’t do things we’ve been doing since the dawn of time.
- Reposted by Variance HammerTwo years and over at @goonhammer.com we‘re still saying everyone is welcome in historical wargaming, with the exception of Nazis and misogynist fucks. www.goonhammer.com/goonhammer-h...
- Some of us are, sadly, quite well aware. Watching my country voluntarily become a pariah among western democracies is heartbreaking.
- Reposted by Variance HammerSomething that really frustrates me when games like this crop up is that their defenders almost always jump to a generic "history is harsh, historical games tackle tough subjects" defense. I already said I don't think topics are always off limits in my second post. That's not what this is about.
- While I love my niche stupid hobby of historical board gaming, sometimes it does just make me want to scream. Take the latest example, a board game about the Irish Potato Famine where you get to compete with friends to see who survives best (?) www.kickstarter.com/projects/com...
- Reposted by Variance HammerWW2 British Vehicle Markings Deciphered - a thread 🧵 Using the Tank Museum's Comet as an example, we can see the following: 1 - Arm of Service Flash 2 - Bridge Classification 3 - Formation Insignia 4 - Serial Number 5 - Tactical Sign 6 - Vehicle Name All explained in turn below... [1/10]
- Reposted by Variance HammerNot sure how you can rationalize still maintaining a regular presence over there!
- Some Grok users, mostly men, began to demand to see bruising on the bodies of the women, and for blood to be added to the images. Requests to show women tied up and gagged were instantly granted. ‘Add blood, forced smile’: www.theguardian.com/news/ng-inte...
- Reposted by Variance HammerThis is also John Stallard, by the way. Source: www.goonhammer.com/goonhammer-h...
- Reposted by Variance HammerOne unfortunate feature of the cultural dominance of Warhammer 40k in miniaturing is that so many talented sculptors in the 3D printing scene are just churning out 40k stuff with the serial numbers filed off. Entirely understandable in terms of business, but sad nevertheless.
- Reposted by Variance HammerWell, I'm done supporting Warlord Games. Comically, I had just an hour ago recommended them on Discord as a great source of single sprues.
- Reposted by Variance HammerUgly desk shot - but currently painting a bunch of Scots and @badsquiddogames.bsky.social shieldmaidens. Creating a 6 point shieldmaiden warband for SAGA for my 10yo daughter, who basically only wants to play as women miniatures, lol. She's a girl who plays historical wargames with me
- Reposted by Variance HammerI just read that there's no women into historical wargaming, and then noticed I AM FADING AWAY HELP I KNEW I DIDNT EXIST avenge meeeeeeee
- Reposted by Variance HammerI dunno, man. It just feels as though even allowing for the fact that your product could feasibly be of interest to women has the potential to open up an entirely new customer base, rather than being antagonistic toward the very idea. I've never run a company so maybe there's cooties on that money.
- Reposted by Variance Hammer
- Reposted by Variance HammerI spent an excessive number of years moderating a gaming forum and I learned a great deal about community spaces and cultivation, whether I wanted to or not. I have critical advice for anyone who runs a game store or gaming convention. Please share this thread with people who run those things.
- Reposted by Variance Hammer@skankstank64 · Mar 27, 2024 yfw plane/train autism existed in ancient greece but it was with ships instead
- Reposted by Variance Hammerwhat people perceive as rightwing anti-intellectualism and anti-expertise trends are 100% seeping into the overly-online-left in the form of whatever this is and the related ‘if stories are about a topic or character they are endorsing that and if you try to analyze it you are also endorsing it”
- New year, new Lost to the Nails Hobby Bingo Card, full of the usual level of in-jokes from an infrequently recorded podcast, and a large number of squares amenable to "Okay, but hear me out..." levels of self-justification.A
- Reposted by Variance Hammeri can't describe for you the weirdness of visiting one of the (relatively few) parts of the world that has a high background level of regard and gratitude for the U.S.A. It feels like stepping into a mirror universe.
- What was the last movie or TV show you watched in 2025?
- So last night in a literal fever dream, I came up with a brilliant mechanic for a sci-fi colonization RPG. You see, one of the problems is, as our heroic crew starts exploring their new world, extracting resources, finding lost tech, etc., it gets...cumbersome.
- Maybe they want to move it. Maybe they want to leave the planet and not be...poor. Maybe they need to hide it from pirates. They could convert their claims into small, pressed disks that could be exchanged at the faintly sinister central government stations for things like housing and food.
- ...yes, my novel new mechanic is "currency".
