AU where Stede Bonnet spends a weekend at the coast and meets Izzy Hands a historical reenactor who Will Not break character.
Stede asks him where the best Sushi is in town and Izzy says he had no idea what sushi is but the mess is where he has all his meals.
He cannot (will not!) tell Stede about how modern ship building techniques have been used to recreate an 18th Century pirate ship because it's 1717 and he's not sure what a power saw is but it sounds like cheating.
Feb 3, 2026 11:07And it's frustrating because when Stede asks him period appropriate questions he's a well of knowledge BUT he's stubborn and rude and Stede doesn't care if he's in character because he wants answers about everything not just the stuff Izzy is deciding to tell him.
It's even more frustrating when Stede comes back from lunch and sees Izzy 'it's the eighteenth century' Hands drinking a cup of takeaway coffee and taking a selfie with a laughing man in biker leathers.
(Stede Swears Izzy winks at him when he catches him looking!)
Omg I can't decide if I prefer:
1. Stede storms over when Izzy has finished his drink to berate him but instead gets an lecture on 18th century coffee house culture that is so interesting, informative and sometimes even blush inducing that he forgets to mention 'but, styrofoam'
Or
2. Izzy asks 'can't I spend my lunch break w/ my husband?' and Stede comes up with the perfect (worst) gotcha of 'you couldn't have had a husband in 1717'
Izzy looks at Stede - a man who couldn't look more gay if he was adorned in pride flags - and is just like "isn't that a bit homophobic?"
