Not That Doctor
I may not be The Doctor but I am a doctor, the indefinite article you might say. 😃
Autistic, pan, M presenting NB, poly, dom.
Living again rather than surviving, and intend to have a wild time doing so 😈
Fetlife: RDGKinkExplorer
- Good morning 🌞 Initial session with Talking Therapies this morning to see if they can help me. It's only 30 minutes, I'm really not sure that's long enough to outline everything I need to fix. Hope everyone has a great day 🤞
- #WoganWednesday I am doing this right, aren't I?
- Ended up going for another walk late afternoon, in total I covered 8.1 miles today, and since Sunday inclusive I have walked 25 miles, burning 5128 calories in the process (assuming Fitbit accuracy). Tommorow I may not be able to walk as much because of plans, but my feet could do with a break.
- Walked another 2 miles for 4.2 in total today, had sandwiches sitting in the spring sunshine in the park, then had my nails done on the way home. Time for a power nap.
- Back from walking my neighbour's dog, but because I had him with me I was a bit limited in terms of distance, only just over two miles walked. Nothing in my calendar until 1600 today may go for another lap or two to make up for the fact I only covered a couple of miles yesterday. 💪
- Another day, another job rejection. The only requirement was 2 years C# experience, I have 8 years experience, not even progressed to the interview stage. Really starting to wonder if I'm on some sort of blacklist.
- Good morning 🌞 Still having anxiety dreams. It's been a very emotionally intense week or so and I think my brain is reacting to that. The weekend should provide a reset when I'm hoping these will stop for a while. On the bright side, the display case for my Lego Enterprise arrives today 🤗
- Bought plasters for my blisters and managed 2.1 miles of my road route, with the rain we're there's no way I'm going to tackle the mud in the woods today. Still feeling ennui despite the walk, and feeling a bit guilty for not walking enough today, might walk more in the dark later.
- Not sure if I'll be doing any walking today. Painful blisters from all the walking I've been doing recently, and it's raining heavily, although my general mood isn't necessarily incompatible with a long walk in the rain to clear my head of a few things.
- I'm not expecting the results of my CAT scan to reveal anything serious this afternoon, it was primarily a virtual colonoscopy to look for polyps. And, while I obviously don't want it to reveal anything serious, part of me wishes it does just so I can escape the hell of job hunting.
- For some reason I'm finding this period of unemployment a lot tougher to deal when I've been out of work previously, and I'm not entirely sure why, especially since there have been spells when I've been out of work for a lot longer that this before, and with smaller cash reserves to see me through.
- My best guess is that previously I'd still been living as a recluse, so extended time on my own was welcome. Now I'm living again, and there are people I actively want to spend time with, the sense of worthlessness which comes from being out of work is amplifying my feelings of general loneliness.
- Thank fuck I've got an assessment appointment for a new round of therapy on Thursday which will hopefully help with some degree. But, I'm not going to let myself go under, just need to keep my chin up, carry on applying for jobs, and make the most of those things which bring me true joy.
