Natty Lumpo
We should have been a pair of ragged brahs
Rizzing across the floors of silent seize.
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- I'm sorry I said "More like What Is Tart by Leo Hole-stoy" when we quarreled. Maybe next time don't tell me you dreamt about banging your Elementary Russian I professor.
- Got a little freaked out after drinking my first ever can of Liquid Death, so I hurried to the store and bought some Life Water. Obviously I will die alone.
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- Made some Käsespätzle if you guys are hungry.
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- Reposted by Natty LumpoMy parents are divorced so we have two January 6ths
- Your English teacher and your gym teacher are both on paid administrative leave pending an investigation into allegations they had sex on the principal's desk.
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- Beautiful but frigid south shore of Lake Ontario near Olcott NY. If you make it bigger (obligatory heynow) you can see Toronto just left of dead center.
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- No matter where I go, Nature finds a way to remind me I dated an arborist in the early 2000s.
- Sry for the New Year's flex but sex with me was recently described as "like hearing Bach played on a broken accordion."
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- Reposted by Natty LumpoAdvertising really works. Like when you’re at the grocery store trying to decide what cheese to buy, and then you remember Wayne Gretzky told you to gamble on sports on your phone.
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- Reposted by Natty LumpoGod: I can't help noticing Jesus has Joseph's nose Mary: [laughs nervously] What a strange coincidence
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- An icy and windy Great Lake.
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- Hauling a scallywag just to keel something.
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- Lake snow moving in.
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- Lake Ontario looking toward Toronto.
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- A retired coworker came back for a visit after a decade and she's somehow morphed into Andrés Segovia and I've never been more turned on.
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- This is what happens when a minor character from a Faulkner novel fucks a loggerhead turtle.
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- Anytime anyone whips out their phone to show you any pic or video, blurt "I fucking LOVE Herzog's early shit. Classic, man!" as it begins. Then walk away with purpose.
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