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I had to come to terms with the fact that there is some shit I will never understand. Never. That does not make me a saint--I fuck up, Im human. But we have to BELIEVE that people like this are out there & take action & preventative measures accordingly. That's 1 solid thing we can do for each other
You will never solve the formula of "person used their success & acclaim to do things they should not for a long time." I tried to solve for that & I couldn't crack it. It's not understandable at a certain point. It is, however, preventable in terms of how we construct & maintain our communities.
"can we separate the art from the artist," blargh, dunno, uhh, sigh. I get that some like exploring that, and maybe this is just from being asked that 2000 times, but it's lowkey a way of centering the abuser IMO. YMMV but overall i've come to regard that question in a very Admiral Acbkar way:
a related thread on all this
bsky.app/profile/mory...It's hard. "Can you separate the art from the artist"--I got asked that 1 million times in the last decade. It took a long time but I came up with my answer to that Kobayashi Maru dilemma. Talked about it with
@colehaddon.bsky.social in 5am Storytalk in 2024:
colehaddon.substack.com/p/q-and-a-jo...
Something to think about not just in the present moment, but in the future. Those who create harm must reckon with those they harmed & make amends. In the meantime, whether they do or don’t, do we owe them socializing, professional opportunities, our time, attention, energy, engagement? No. We don’t
Re entry into a community, a space or relationship is earned, not a given. A resource of unrepentant abusers is that they have drilled into the rest of us that we owe them infinite chances. We don’t. Chances are finite. Those are the breaks. often they want to be absolved without changing. Pass.
Feb 3, 2026 22:14
