Thomas White
Sheriff of this here town
- Enjoy Obama like you’ve never used him before. ”Hawaii Spice: The President’s Body,” available now on iTunes.
- Discover Obama’s enlightening new memoir, based on true Obama facts. “Memories of Barack: The Obama Story” available June 2026.
- Old ass baby
- Bernie Sanders going on Tim Dillon just shows there is no politician immune to the gravitational pull of a fat red pedophile
- Two ships in the night
- Straight chillin open.spotify.com/track/0UFC1o...
- Furuous beyond belief.
- We need more bitterness on Bluesky. More evil. A land of anguish
- It’s good people aren’t trying too hard to be funny over here. Wouldn’t want things to accidentally get interesting
- Hendrix died doing what he loved: trying to swallow a guitar
- The new apprentice has no respect for sorcery fundamentals. “What are we preparing today, Great Wizard? Another poultice?” I wish ill upon him daily
- Keep your friend’s toast and your enemy’s toaster
- [Sweeping shot of a guy who was bitten clean in half] Sci fi coroner: Whatever did this…wasn’t human
- Finally, a Cormac McCarthy story we can all actually relate to.
- Watching the light leave a victim’s eyes can be so hard on empaths
- Son, you’ve hardly touched your piece of poop. Could you at least drink a glass of pee before bed?
- Sometimes I like to prank my butler with beef wellington
- Encountering a lot of toxicity on here, wondering if it’s the lack of strength in numbers. Anybody know of a bigger app we could move to?
- I wanted to write a book under the pen name Maxwell Aubergine recently thanks to a briefly sub-80 IQ
- Every place of business should have saloon doors
- Hungry as fuhhh #NeedMeThatFood
- Instant oatmeal time for the boss man
- If I ran a Truman Show style simulation I would give the guy up to thirty new rashes per day
- I love killing people
- Forgot to code switch with my weasel friend and now he’s telling everyone I talk like a vole
