Ivan Oozer 🔞
Appreciator of brawny beards, fuzzy forearms, hairy chests and happy trails. Drip laugh love.
- Dripping you a new one. #FatCockFriday
- #Fursday. That’s it. That’s the caption.
- I know that today is supposed to be for soft cocks, but sometimes sticking to the rules can get crazy hard.
- “Are you wearing the God—“ “The Godzilla boxer briefs from Old Navy? Yeah, I am. But probably not for much longer.” #SoftCockSaturday
- Lemme see your bush.
- Girls rule, boys drool. #WetWednesday
- Out: Shake Shack. In: shake sack. (Also I apologize for this profoundly stupid caption.) #MonochromeMonday
- Exhausted from shoveling snow all afternoon but I rallied for #SundayCumday.
- Blizzard conditions outside but my hard cock feels nice and toasty.
- Alexa, play “Limp” by Fiona Apple. #SoftCockSaturday #SCS
- My impression of a reeeeeally broken metronome. #FatCockFriday
- My impression of a broken metronome. #FatCockFriday
- It’s a big drip on a #WetWednesday (sung to the tune of Billy Idol’s “White Wedding”).
- It’s fine. I was gonna wash my pillowcase tomorrow anyway. #SundayCumday
- Just lying in bed and thinking that I should get up but my body thought I meant “get it up” so now here we are.
- “I saw a hot guy I follow post a pic for #SoftCockSaturday, so I posted a pic for #SoftCockSaturday.” —me if I was a character in Mean Girls #SCS
- Thinking outside the boxer briefs. #FatCockFriday #FCF
- Fuzzy from the nip to the grip. #Fursday
- My cock is basically a string instrument. #WetWednesday
- See a ring, post a ring. 💫 (But make it #TummyTuesday and #TesticleTuesday too.)
- Feels kinda disingenuous to post this on #TummyTuesday when the requisite tummy is basically a side character.
- My favorite black-and-white movie is Raging Pull. #MonochromeMonday #MCM
- If you see this, quote a picture of your bush. (Hopefully videos are cool too!)
- That thing where you’re trying to edge but you do a whoopsie instead. #SundayCumday
- Cold hands, warm balls.
- Posting for #FatCockFriday on Saturday because I am chaos.
- Also it’s #Fursday.
- Morning wood but make it evening (because I just woke up from one of those accidental pre-dinner lemme-close-my-eyes-for-five-minutes oh-shit-it’s-three-hours-later naps hard as hell and ready to rock).
- Is #ToyTuesday a thing? Because I’m feeling very #ToyTuesday today.
- My hard cock is almost as purple as the T-shirt in the background, but I’m posting this on #MonochromeMonday so you’ll just have to take my word for it. #MCM
- Good to the last splotch. #SundayCumday
- My post-holiday brain is so fried that I’ve had to check my phone to see what day it is every day this week except for today because today is obviously #FatCockFriday.
- This #Fursday contains partial nudity.
- Memorializing my first boner of 2026.
- Fireworks aren’t allowed in my neighborhood so I’m shooting off some precum instead. Happy New Year! #WetWednesday
- POV: You ordered the #TummyTuesday platter with pit and tit on the side.
- Getting erectly to the point. #MonochromeMonday
- Today is National Short Film Day, so here’s one I directed a few hours ago. #SundayCumday
- Update from yesterday: Post-Christmas depression is starting to hit hard… but not as hard as MY LEAKY COCK haha jk idk.
