salo
mom you’d like to friend
- My lungs are squished and I’m congested and the baby has been home for three weeks so we have been doing our fair amount of screen time. Here is a list of his favorite things to watch.
- Unfortunately the muppet show revival is proving to not be all that entertaining for me or my son
- I’m in a parent signal group and people are posting their “offline hours” in their usernames. ……….
- Benedict is the hottest bridgerton by a country mile, right?
- In my house we call these Yogos Lanthimos and Noah Bambachs.
- I’m living off of Gatorade and white cheddar popcorn and my 15 month old had Singapore mei fun for lunch.
- Reposted by salothey're executing moms and nurses in the street. they're using preschoolers as bait. they're stealing people's dads and grandmas and children. they're tear gassing babies. they're staking out schools. there is no remedy but abolition. any proposal that doesn't start there is an act of violence.
- I’m in a bad mood and all these people putting cookies in their yogurt and think it’s revolutionary isn’t helping.
- Reposted by saloI guess I do think if you participated in the arrest of a five-year-old you are probably just fundamentally incompatible with society. That you are not a safe person for humanity to be around, generally
- me: every fucking recurring biller I pay each month: hi we are charging you an extra three thousand dollars :) tysm
- I’ve become addicted to glacier freeze Gatorade
- No YOU laid on the floor with your hand in your baby’s crib because he was sick and wouldn’t fall back asleep unless you held his tiny little hand and then you sneezed and simultaneously disturbed said baby while pulling a muscle in your back.
- Fucked up that I have to apologize if my sick baby makes a sound while I’m on a call but my coworker can have her five dogs go absolutely apeshit in the background of her calls and no one says anything.
- Just put my maternity leave on the calendar hell yeah
- Back on that raspberry leaf tea and dates grind.
- Very glad I got out of there when I did
- It’s 2026 and we need to have a frank conversation about gifting people baby clothes.
- My son has taken an interest in Mickey Mouse (he calls him mow mow) and every time he appears we need to announce a mow mow sighting. He’s the best in the world.
- Just looked at the music channel in the work slack and someone posted on dec 26 “happy brick day to all who observe” with a link to the song.
- Lmao
- lmaoooo I didn’t know that lawyer guy got cancelled for being a sex pest. Tick another one off of my bingo card.
- Ok I made fun of the idea of the Harry and David comice pears but god damn they are very good
- Just spent three hours wrapping presents ho ho ho
- Produce that’s in season when you’re pregnant >>>>>>>
- Bad news for every guy I know that had excess breast tissue as a child.
- Health Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. is expected to announce a package of measures that would together ban gender-affirming care for minors. A press conference is set for 11 a.m. Thursday. n.pr/44xQKdD
- Having a kid has made me realize just how much I dislike doctor seuss.
- and so begins a non-exhaustive list of things in Monmouth county NJ that I think are tacky and cringe: - lifetime gym - Gabriella’s on 35 in Middletown (esp the brunch) - the talercios/livottis/uncle Giuseppe blood war
- oh hey it’s ur boyfriends homeland
- I simply loveeee to conclude attorney review
- Which muppet of Sesame Street reads as the most divorced to you? To me it’s Telly.
- Happy holidays from me and my impending psychotic break
- Not to kink shame but the scenes between Ralph Cifaretto and Janice Soprano make me feel physically ill.
- I am going to primary Cory Booker.
- I made my own cookie recipe today!!! It’s like an oatmeal raisin but with pecans, cranberries, fresh ginger, allspice, nutmeg, molasses, and brown butter :)
- Netflix has DESTROYED Sesame Street!!!!! We demand the letter and number of the day!!!!!! What the fuck
- My barista enemy is very upset that Twitter is down.
- Reposted by salowhen will the lesson finally get learned? #cloudflare
- I walked past 100 highschoolers yesterday and all of them were in lounge pants, which struck me as a “school isn’t a fashion show, young lady” young lady.
- Did they change the formula of the Panera green tea to taste like lipgloss or am I just pregnant
- Reposted by salo[less than a week after dems sweep elections] chuck schumer: have we tried my same old bullshit?
- Are we all watching Pluribus??
