I struggled to even approach traditional masculinity although I suppose there were other possible reasons for this.

You being a girl might have something to do with it

I think I understand— I can perform femininity reasonably well but feel no connection or interest in it

We had to learn to play acting roles. Is what it is. I always jokingly say I still act like a guy and didn't change my behavior or mannerisms @hiyinx.bsky.social noted that they're all extremely femme. Which has been a bit of a mindfuck.