i fully and genuinely believe that i am an irredeemable person. i'm not the person others think i am, and the way i portray myself is not the true me at all. the real me is disgusting and shouldn't be given a single thought given to. i am full of nothing but shit and i need to die and go to hell

that has ever been given to me. others suffer, truly, and i have suffered and have deserved every inch of it. every fragment. i dont deserve respect. i am nothing but a horrible person and bad influence and i know i need to cleanse the existence i am experiencing because i have not brought anything

useful to anyone. i'm an active hinderment to anyone and to my own self. i try to cope and deal with the intense feelings but somewhere in all the mess it all comes together to where i realize its truly just how i am. no tear, no cut, no burn, can ever repair the feeling and i know im just saying

shit but i really cannot handle it anymore. but fizzy! you said that last time! hypocrite. isn't that so annoying? to keep having to hold on to something that will never get better? yeah fuck everything

i hope i die i hope i get killed i hope nothing but the worst on my soul