REAL TALES OF DUNDER-MIFFLIN
what if george jetson worked at dunder-mifflin?
its not that difficult to imagine...
- TIS ALMOST DUNDER CHRISTMAS From Dwight, Toby, George, Tony, Lil Tony, Michael, Andy, Reggie, Gazoo, Stanley, and the rest
- JAMES: where is jim halpern PAM: in the break room JAMES: thank you pam PAM: are you going to hurt him? JAMES: not physically PAM: ok MICHAEL: who was that man you were talking to? PAM: james spader the actor MICHAEL: he's going to fry jim's mind with logic PAM: most likely yep MICHAEL: yes we agree
- JIM: i just wove some chaos magic on dwight TOBY: knock it off jim JIM: its too late. the consequences will be amusing, to say the least. don't say i didn't warn you DWIGHT: what's going on? TOBY: jim is doing chaos magic DWIGHT: he's unwell TOBY: yep JIM: you'll see soon enough TOBY: grow up jim
- CHOTINER: you work with him? JIM: right, george jetson is my coworker CHOTINER: he's from the future JIM: as i understand it, yes CHOTINER: he must have some insights into events that haven't happened yet JIM: i guess so CHOTINER: like when you cornered pam and forced a kiss on her JIM: excuse me?
- OSCAR: show me my future GAZOO: in 20 years you work at paper company OSCAR: dunder miff?? GAZOO: no a different one in toledo OSCAR: the cast is the same? GAZOO: not at all OSCAR: george jetson my coworker? GAZOO: not anymore OSCAR: i hate the future STANLEY: since when can you see gazoo?
- Who is Allan Mifflin? Who is Gomez Dunder?
- RYAN: marcy get me a designer MARCY: aye aye RYAN: not pam MARCY: understood sir RYAN: i want a look that will appeal to young voters. a mustache, a goatee, bling, a turban MARCY: got it MARCY: hows this? RYAN: i look like zoltar the fortune automaton MARCY: sorry RYAN: its perfect. print 'em
- MICHAEL: the rules are simple. whoever loses this battle must forfeit the run run mayor scranton. TOBY: 벼랑 끝 승부 MICHAEL: pardon? TOBY: i learned Go in seoul MICHAEL: doesn't matter. begin TOBY: ... MICHAEL: ... TOBY: pass MICHAEL: pass TOBY: really? ok, good game MICHAEL: wait no
- PAM: michael is dueling toby PHYLLIS: a fight? PAM: a fight of the minds JIM: like a debate? PAM: even smarter. the ancient art of Go PHYLLIS: nice JIM: board games. cool PAM: do you ever play agricola? JIM: no ANDY: i have caverna the cave farmers PAM: cute JIM: is it hard? ANDY: yes PAM: yes
- MICHAEL: we have to vote ryan DWIGHT: or toby or the incumbent MICHAEL: toby's policies are vile KEVIN: some of them are cool MICHAEL: no. not true. none of them are cool OSCAR: maybe someone else should run run MICHAEL: no one else run run mayor KEVIN: what about george? DWIGHT: jetson my coworker?
- RYAN: new plan i KELLY: what plan is? RYAN: me run run mayor scranton MARCY: mayee scranty KELLY: who is this? RYAN: my campaign manager marcy TOBY: hello marcy MARCY: i'm only interest ryan KELLY: lets revenge them toby TOBY: toby run run mayor? KELLY: good idea RYAN: don't MARCY: stop it TOBY: no
- STANLEY: there are false threats in the office ANDY: do tell STANLEY: its self explanatory ANDY: right, yeah it is MICHAEL: i will destroy toby LEO: michael no MICHAEL: in the ancient art of Go ANDY: you play Go? MICHAEL: the computer version ANDY: i have a board MICHAEL: summon toby now
- PAM: where is george JIM: why PAM: i want to send him something JIM: send it to me i'll forward it PAM: no KEVIN: is jim bothering you? PAM: yes he's trying to ogle my boudoir photograhs which are for jetson eyes only KEVIN: nice JIM: just a peek, dear PAM: don't be disgusting JIM: why not? PAM: ew
- TOBY: you threatened me michael MICHAEL: no proof TOBY: i have the threat document here MICHAEL: it isn't my handwriting DWIGHT: lets use the analyzer MICHAEL: no need ANDY: then why did we buy a handwriting analysis supercomputer? MICHAEL: for more important stuff than this DWIGHT: makes sense
- JIM ON WAY TO WORK: This road seems different to me today it must be because i know that my coworkers, ryan, stan, kevin, oscar, george jetson, toby and more are going to be happy to see me, with a lot to tell me about how they’ve spent their free time! Im so happy i could treat my wife with love
- PAM: When my husband treats me right, i know its because i made him proud by using my memory to recall various truths i hope i can keep my husband from becoming mean to me because he can be quite mean to me and it means when hes mean that i didnt recall enough , George Jetson works at The Office
- JIM: Im going back to work PAM: Have a great day JIM: I wonder who works today? 🤔 PAM: Probably Ryan, Stan, And Kevin JIM: They all work there yes but who else works at dunder-miffling? PAM: Hmm, Michael, Toby, George Jetson and Kelly JIM: Right! Correct you are. I’ll be nice to you today.
- MICHAEL: We have many colleagues here at Dunder Mifflin OSCAR: Thank you ANGELA: Thank you KEVIN: Thank you JIM: Thank you STANLEY: Thank you PHYLLIS: Thank you RYAN: Thank you TOBY: Thank you MEREDITH: Thank you GEORGE JETSON: Thank you CREED: Thank you KELLY: Thank you PAM: Thank you DWAYNE: Thank
- JIM: I sell many today OSCAR: On top performers Jim goes all the way DWAYNE: Didnt know you had it in you, Jim GEORGE JETSON: Another addition to the team was made when we hired you, and you are a great welcome to our business MICHAEL SCOTT: Ill be the worker and youll be the boss at this rate Jim
- Any gitls follow me?
- look
- GAZOO: i'm back motherfucjer ZOOGA: now so fast asshole GAZOO: go to hell ZOOGA: already been there it sucked GAZOO: then i want you to go you idiot i would prefer you be in a place that sucks ZOOGA: yeah? well-- GAZOO: and another thing dipshit fuck you for fucking up the world ZOOGA: hey now man
- STANLEY: gazoo better straighten all this out CREED: he won't STANLEY: zuh? CREED: zooga took over. he's the guardian now STANLEY: ruh roh CREED: like how piccolo was to earth STANLEY: no i understood you CREED: dragonball fan? STANLEY: whats dragon ball?
- MICHAEL: so this is the future, huh? GEORGE JETSON: yep. pretty cool. MICHAEL: the food is a little weird though GEORGE: is it? MICHAEL: so chewy, its like mochi GEORGE: sir, that isn't food MICHAEL: isn't this an egg? GEORGE: well yes, MICHAEL: food! GEORGE: this particular egg is a tenga device
- KEVIN: urge to go insane... rising... MEREDITH: did you say something kevin? KEVIN: huh? MEREDITH: something about an urge? KEVIN: oh is it lunch time yet? MEREDITH: no. it's 8:15am KEVIN: oh my god MEREDITH: no lunch for another 4 hours KEVIN: i'm going to go fucking insane
- OSCAR: just checking on everyone DWIGHT: i'm in perfect condition OSCAR: any new traits or gimmicks? DWIGHT: none at all, let me get back to work OSCAR: as salesman? DWIGHT: no as poisoner. thats my thing now OSCAR: that counts as a gimmick DWIGHT: oh, then write down 'poisoner' OSCAR: already did
- JIM: hey pam, like my little guy? EVIL PAM: huh? JIM: little jim the small jim here next to me EVIL PAM: oh. sure JIM: you think he's cute? EVIL PAM: he's small JIM: am i cute? EVIL PAM: what? JIM: nevermind. hey angela ANGELA: yes? JIM: isn't lil jim cute to you? ANGELA: i'm trying to work, jim
- OSCAR: full name? SEXUAL TOBY: toby flender OSCAR: thank you SEX TOBY: any other questions for me? OSCAR: no SEX TOBY: need to know anything about my sex life, sex habits, sexual arrangements, sex status, etc? OSCAR: nope SEX TOBY: oh ok OSCAR: not at all. not my business SEX TOBY: right, right
- anyone who is good at either drawing dogs or using discord please dm me. explain a lot of details about discord to me on DM thanks -admin
- OSCAR: i need your full name for this form PHYLLIS: dillis OSCAR: no your last name PHYLLIS: it's dillis OSCAR: your full name is phyllis dillis? PHYLLIS: yes i married doctor rand dillis ANGELA: the rich and famous doctor? PHYLLIS: yep ANGELA: wow PHYLLIS: jealous? ANGELA: kinda OSCAR: ok thank you
- HELP. For real. Someone help. I need software advice for this account, Someone please helptt
- —back upstairs— KEVIN: check this out DREW: whoa how did you do that? KEVIN: dunno, been able to ever since... DREW: since what? KEVIN: i'm not sure STANLEY: the reboot, you fools DREW: what? STANLEY: i don't know why i'm explaining this since no one ever remembers but me, b-- DREW: forget it then
- WAREHOUSE BOB: you look glum, buddy TONY: i am, i think i have clinical depression BOB: well i'm not a clinician, so... TONY: right, sorry BOB: my quarter-jamaican wife is though TONY: she got any openings? BOB: watch it, tony TONY: i meant-- BOB: i know what you meant, pervert TONY: gimme a break!
- TONY: i still feel very depressed DARRYL: you probably need a therapist TONY: yeah that's true DARRYL: want to hear about my problems? TONY: sure DARRYL: i wake up so dehydrated TONY: you should sleep with a humidifier DARRYL: not gonna happen TONY: zuh? DARRYL: it might mess with my dehumidifier
- —meanwhile in the warehouse— TONY SOPRAN: i'm very depressed ROY: me too TONY: sorry. want to talk about it? ROY: i'm in love with someone TONY: thats cause for joy buddy ROY: she doesn't love me back TONY: that's gotta hurt. who is it? ROY: you know pam? TONY: of course ROY: her mom TONY: ruh roh
- MICHAEL: hey there d'under whats it like in scranton city i'm a thousand years away but today we have a meeting yes we do steamtown can't shine as bright as you i swear its true ohh its paper sales to me oh its paper sales to me CREED: thank you michael DREW: we always start meetings with his songs
- DREW: good morning pam EVIL PAM: oh, welcome back drew JIM: hey drew DREW: hey jim, little jim LIL JIM: heehee RYAN&KELLY: meeting. everyone in the rolex room in five minutes. michael and george will be conferencing in from the future STANLEY: this is wrong... its all wrong SEXUAL TOBY: how so?
- The next chapter begins... March 24th... ——— DUNDER JETSON ——— —ENTER THE ZOOGAVERSE—
- ZOOGA: i'm granting all your wishes... KEVIN: awesome ZOOGA: ...suckers! KEVIN: wait, what the hell? ZOOGA: i'm zooga, in disguise as gazoo OSCAR: oh fuck MICHAEL: fucking hell. jesus christ TOBY: this is bullshit ZOOGA: no, this is a zoo gaginning CREED: hm? ZOOGA: like new beginning. but zooga
- MICHAEL: is gazoo back yet? ZOOGA [in disguise]: yyep. here i am MICHAEL: oh good, i- STANLEY: wait MICHAEL: knock it off stanley STANLEY: but- MICHAEL: i don't interrupt you while you're doing crossword puzzle pretzel stuff. don't be rude. i'm your boss. STANLEY: b- MICHAEL: stop. wish me up, gazoo
- WAREHOUSE BOB: know why i brought you here? REGGIE: i'm in trouble for my comment BOB: what? REGGIE: i said your wife is hot BOB: she is though REGGIE: oh, well yeah BOB: she has a sister you know REGGIE: oh word? BOB: she's a triplet REGGIE: two sisters then BOB: no just one REGGIE: ..aight..
- REGGIE: bob's wife is half-jamaican YENDOR: yeah i remember REGGIE: just making conversation YENDOR: right, about bob's wife REGGIE: oh what'm i supposed to say? she's hot? DARRYL: whoa simmer down there yendor YENDOR: i didn't say shit! that was reggie WAREHOUSE BOB: what are you talking about?
- DARRYL: what do you think everyone is up to right now? YENDOR: i dunno REGGIE: doesn't interest me until its in front of me YENDOR: i live in the moment DARRYL: present time, present place REGGIE: absolutely WAREHOUSE BOB: anyone want some chicken? YENDOR: yes i certainly do BOB: wife made too much
- STANLEY: feel like i'm going crazy CREED: me too STANLEY: you did go crazy CREED: how do you figure? STANLEY: declaring yourself captain, turning the crashed bus into a roadside cafe instead of getting back home, martial law, the beard ordinance CREED: ok what else? STANLEY: you see clockwork elves
- ZAK BAGANS: ok the spirit channel is open MICHAEL: okay, tell him um... ZAK BAGANS: you can just say it directly MICHAEL: tell him, "wish wish wish" PAM: great choice michael [Zak's Ovilus II device]: stop... wish... DWIGHT: he's telling us to stop what we're doing and make more wishes. hurry, guys
- CREED: what do we do for the next three days? TOBY: i have a copy of Mage Knight KEVIN: we could play that, sure TOBY: no but it'd be enough time to learn the rules MICHAEL: ok guys come on DWIGHT: michael? MICHAEL: zak bagans can speak to the dead ZAK BAGANS: yeah, so? MICHAEL: so we can wish more
- STANLEY: gazoo died MICHAEL: huh? GEORGE: ruh roh RYAN: now what? no wishes? KELLY: no rolex for kelly? STANLEY: he'll respawn in 72 hours MICHAEL: oh ok that seems fine STANLEY: its not a big deal but still annoying JIM: wish wish wish PAM: jim, knock it off JIM: my bad CREED: throw him in the brig
- GAZOO: hoo boy this is bad ANDY: wish wish wish TOBY: wish wish wish PHYLLIS: wish wish wish KEVIN; wish wish wish UDAY: wish wish wish ZAK BAGANS: wish wish wish STANLEY: please stop MICHAEL: wish wish wish CREED: wish wish wish STANLEY; you're killi g him. killing gazoo KELLY: wish wish wish RYAN:
