John Moynes
Poet, comedian, tall
- Dan Brown will have his work cut out with this one.
- Pontius Pilate calls on Christians to "move on from crucifixion."
- Starting a podcast where we discuss the covers of books we haven't read and try to judge whether we'd enjoy reading them. It's called Using The Front And Back Of A Book To Decide If It Would Be An Enjoyable Read.
- They should bring back proper names for newspapers, like the North Kildare Oboe Triumphant (incorporating the South/South West Kildare Breathless Explanation.)
- If just 10% of people cancelling their Washington Post subscriptions decided to spend that money buying custard off me then I'd have to set up some sort of custard company, maybe producing it or outsourcing that I don't know I haven't really thought about this it all just came out of nowhere.
- Not so long ago Parris was saying it's time to rehabilitate Prince Andrew "whether we like it or not."
- "In those days the cool kids were listening to Executive Core. Cool new bands like Arthur and the Assistant Managers, Spreadsheet 3000 and Quarterly Report, who some said were less Executive Core and more Corporate Governance Shuffle." Thomas Aquinas, Summa Theologica.
- If you eat a sandwich in Cornwall the Prince of Wales is allowed to have a bite. This is why they invented pasties. #history
- Words mean nothing now. Flanjurbs are ching.
- Check out the geniuses who think high finance would still exist in a society that has collapsed into tribalism.
- Do wormholes exist? We ask three physicists and an increasingly exasperated gardener.
- It should be illegal for interests to wear vests.
- Aw, they actually thought they were getting their bonus. How adorable.
- Mandelson was called a "master of the dark arts" by English journalists who thought it took a genius to tell them what they wanted to hear.
- My favourite film is The Purge. It's set in a dystopian future where for 24 hours every year laxatives are legal. And this is America so they have far too much meat in their diet.
- Please donate to my Alexamenos Institute so we can save Christian Civilisation in ancient Rome.
- FACT: In the 1950s fahionable "Teddy Boys" would imitate their hero Teddy Roosevelt by attacking Cuba with an amateur cavalry regiment. Hundreds died.
- -Roof repair people: Are you free on Wednesday? -Me: Yes, I'll see you then. -Roof repair people: Oh, oh no. We are not free on Wednesday.
- No new pictures, something something something.
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- Fair play to Tuatha for finding yet more proof that Co. Clare was visited by ancient aliens.
- Jack the Ripper was framed. #Justice4Jack
- And still the Symbionese wait for liberty.
- All Chlamydotis Are Bustards en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chlamyd...
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- Conspiracy theorists have often claimed that anagrams can unlock evil plots which used to sound stupid until we discovered how bad conspirators are at spelling.
- Just misread something as 'ethnic minotaurs.'
- Imagine how angry the Helen of Truthers will be when they find out what Joyce did to the Odyssey.
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- "I'll have my eggs with ham and hollandaise sauce please." The Benedictine order.
- We really need a minimum age for ministers.
- Is this the Republic that Paul Daniels gave his life for?
- FACT: In Britain the groundhog is called a minced hog.
- It's weird that Americans used to actually go to the moon instead of simply signing an executive order to rename it the Moon of America.
- You're right, the government should pay for loads of big Easter Island style head statues all over the place.
- @wisekingaido.bsky.social Watching an Arbitor Ian video where he describes the Dark Angels as "you know, Catholic stuff."
- I need to test this empirically.
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- Sobriety is the first part of the hypnoboobic oath.
- Tombstone is the best Western.
- JAM! *wicked drums* *funky bass* *hot guitar* *searing saxophone* Beat that, losers.
- Reposted by John MoynesTake me down to the Parallax city where the far moves slow and the near moves quickly
- In the original Olympic games the competitors were all in the nip so nobody entered the 200m hurdles.
- Eating lots of Brussels sprouts and beans for #Fartbruary
