James Blackstone
PhD Circus Clown, MD, DDS, OPP, Yeah you know me, word to your recently retired mother
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- Reposted by James BlackstoneBECOME UNGOVERNABLE
- Reposted by James BlackstoneYesterday, someone told me it's still February.
- “Tomorrow brings yesterday’s promise of today,” he says as the edible kicks in.
- Reposted by James BlackstoneI can't hear a word you're saying if your hoodie strings are uneven
- Reposted by James BlackstoneRemember when we thought 2026 was going to be better?
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- Reposted by James Blackstone*looks up* *looks down* *looks up* *looks down* *turns blueprints over* “Shit.”
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- Reposted by James BlackstoneIf you call it your morning constitutional, it sounds way better than shitting with your eyes closed and the shower running
- Reposted by James BlackstoneGoddamn you, snacks. Victory is yours again!
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- Something usually is
- Reposted by James BlackstoneDon’t worry everyone, I have a plan to personally save journalism. I simply need to make a billion dollars and not be corrupted by my newfound wealth
- Reposted by James BlackstoneIf you send a man to the grocery store, clear your schedule. You are now live customer support for the entire trip. Might as well go yourself.
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- Reposted by James BlackstoneLook, I don't want to be this way. I am trying to mature and grow. I don't want to shove my negative feelings down deep in this middle aged body until we have an out of control emotional white woman situation. It's embarrassing. To me and to other humans. But I swear if one more person...
- Reposted by James Blackstoneohhh ‘democracy dies in darkness’ was aspirational
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- Time Lord: Traveler, you have reached the very zenith of existence where time begins and ends. What is your question? Me: So if I jump up will I just keep going? TL: You’re thinking of gravity. Me: What the fuck does time do? TL: (existential crisis) Me: Neat, well I gotta pee, so…anywhere?
- Reposted by James BlackstoneMy therapist told me social media was bad for me so I told her the pastry she had on her desk was going to give her diabetes.
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- Reposted by James BlackstoneZOOKEEPER: So our last snake is our yellow Burmese python ME: *way too loud* A bananaconda ZOOKEEPER: *pulling out his tazer* look away kids
- Reposted by James Blackstoneit’s 1990 something and I’m wearing my guess jeans and k Swiss sneakers to the blockbuster on the corner to rent horror flicks for my high school slumber party
- Reposted by James Blackstoneone of the reasons i can’t stand my neighbors is bc they named they french bulldog louis but call their son pooter
- Reposted by James BlackstoneGot fired from my job as a vet because I told a lady I was ‘hoptimistic’ about her rabbit walking again lol and also because I’m not a qualified vet.
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- Reposted by James BlackstoneIt was an unpleasant business, but every four years, Grimace required a blood sacrifice, and well, nobody really much liked Brandon anyway.
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- Finally braved the crowds and saw the Melania movie. It should win all the FIFA Oscars. Worth seeing with an audience!
- Reposted by James BlackstoneA stingray is just a regular ray that tells you not to put on the red light.
- Reposted by James BlackstoneA bakery called Maslow’s Hierarchy of Kneads
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- Reposted by James Blackstonemy cat saw her shadow this morning so 6 more weeks of midnight zoomies I guess
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- Remember to take your groundhog to the park today in honor of their sacrifice during World War 2
- Reposted by James Blackstonethere it is, folks, punxsutawney phil has confirmed that the president soiled himself on live tv
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