Alan Orloff
Cheesephobic. Regular guy. Also award-winning crime fiction writer.
- I made a new friend.
- In exactly one year, my horror/thriller DARK SPRINGS will be released (from @rowanprosepub.bsky.social)! HUGE thanks to the very generous SUPERSTAR Jonathan Maberry for this amazing blurb!
- HOLLYWOOD KILLS is a Finalist for the Best Anthology Derringer Award! Congrats to the other finalists! And, of course, congrats to all of our contributors for writing such FANTASTIC stories! Thanks to all the SMFS voters for your support! From Level Best Books.
- Two more shout-outs to stories in HOLLYWOOD KILLS! Congrats to @ericbeetner.bsky.social (“The Cutting Room Floor”) and Gary Phillips (“What Ned Said”) for being named one of Robert Lopresti’s favorite mystery stories of 2025! Huzzah! From Level Best Books!
- TurtleFest!
- I've been going to the gym regularly for some time now, and I think I've finally made it out of the "utter weakling" category.
- After some extensive introspection, I’ve decided that this year’s new, healthy food (added to my diet) will be: SARDINES.
- I spent a lot of time watching Veronika the Cow scratch herself with a broom. Time well spent.
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- CONGRATULATIONS to HOLLYWOOD KILLS contributors Tiffany Borders Plunkett and Robert Rotstein for having their terrific stories nominated for the prestigious Robert L. Fish Memorial Award. Presentation of the award will be April 29 at the Edgar® Awards Banquet in NYC!
- Watched the first episode of Leave it to Beaver last night. Classic. Some things are always funny.
- Mother agave and her little baby agaves.
- Your occasional reminder that corn chips make everything taste better.
- I had a nightmare the other night. I dreamed I lost my library card!
- I thought I’d heard every possible question at an author talk. But recently, I heard a new one. Someone asked the author: “Do you believe in Satan?” I’m going to use that when I meet someone. “How about this weather?” “What are some of your hobbies?” “DO YOU BELIEVE IN SATAN?”
- CONGRATS to my good friend Donna Andrews on being named a 2026 MWA GRAND MASTER!!!
- I thought about starting an Introverts Club but was afraid nobody would come to the meetings!
- Reality is going to put us fiction writers out of business.
- Tracy Clark is coming to town! Next Tuesday! Interviewed by the incomparable Oline Cogdill!
- Congrats to my friend @loriraderday.bsky.social (and one of my favorite writers) on the publication of her latest blockbuster, WRECK YOUR HEART! Can't wait to read this one!!!
- Submitted my first short story of the year. Fly, lil' birdie, fly!
- South Florida peeps! I hope you’ll join us on Saturday, January 31 at 7 pm at Books & Books in Coral Gables. Rebecca Lugones, JD Allen, @Heather Graham, and I will be discussing our stories in THE MOST DANGEROUS GAMES (and plenty of other things). Should be a lot of fun! FREE! Click thru to RSVP!
- Some people are from hearty stock. I think I'm from hearty soup stock.
- GOING APE that my story, "Auntie Grizelda," is included in this groovy anthology!!! FAR OUT! Thanks Shelley Kubitz and Larry Allan!
- HAPPY NEW YEAR!
- Just got my two-year (paper) calendar/planner. Just in time—now I’ll know where I have to go tomorrow!
- Lemon and tennis ball.
- Every year, I try to incorporate a new (healthy) food into my diet. Items added the past few years have included dates, buckwheat groats, brussels sprouts, pasta made from chickpeas, and flaxseed. Having a tough time coming up with one for 2026. Suggestions?
- "Alexa, clean the kitchen."
- No AI has been used to write my social media posts. The dad jokes are all mine!
- Boy, do I love palm trees!
- For really big mistakes.
- HOLLYWOOD KILLS gets a nice mention in Ellery Queen Mystery Magazine! Thanks, Steve Steinbock!
- I’ve got six bottles/jars on the mustard shelf in the fridge: Dijon (3), horseradish, stoneground, and hot Chinese, along with two in the pantry: dill pickle and honey mustard. Can’t have too much mustard. What's your favorite type of mustard?
- VERY HAPPY to be working with Jay Hartman at White City Press/Misti Media on these re-issues! HUGE THANKS to my fab agent Michelle Richter for sealing the deal!
- I’ve started calling avocados “avocadhopes” because I so rarely pick a good one.
- I’ve been crowing throughout the season about how good my fantasy football team was, but my team got bumped out in the first round of the playoffs. Disappointing? Yes. But I’m confident that we can make the playoffs next year. We’d better—eight out of the ten teams in the league make the playoffs!
- Congrats to my pal @catrionamcp.bsky.social on the recent release of her 8th(!) book in the Last Ditch mystery series, SCOT'S EGGS! These books are HILARIOUS and if you aren't reading them, you are missing out, big time! Trust me, I would never steer you astray!
- Sunday iguana pic.
- If I am not the world’s worst singer/dancer/artist, then I am certainly in the top (bottom?) ten.
- LOVE this cover! Can't wait to read the book!
- Rank the following breakfast foods, in order of preference: French toast, pancakes, waffles.
- Contributor copy! Thanks to fantastic editor @deborahlacy.bsky.social and Level Best Books!
- My fantasy football team is 11-3 and heading into the playoffs as the top seed.
- While we were at the pool (on vacay), a dad was with his three-year-old son. The dad said to a buddy, “...so cold we had to get the hell out of there.” An innocuous comment between two adults. But a few seconds later, the boy started chanting, loudly, “What the hell? What the hell?” Priceless.
- Congrats to Christina Kovac on the recent release of WATCH US FALL! Can't wait to dig in!!!
- Bought a Fruity Pebbles bagel from F-ing Bagels, and the experience was probably exactly like you would imagine.
