Carl Maxim
I don't have time for a fourth dimension.
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- Maybe it developed consciousness and felt it was the best thing for everyone.
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- CC Keir Starmer
- PMQs or, as it is now known, Peter Mandelson Questions.
- If you call your autobiography The Third Man it's hardly surprising when you end up in the sewers being chased by the authorities.
- Standing outside Pavlov's Dogs Home wondering whether to ring the doorbell.
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- How it started.......................................How it's going
- Started seeing a dream therapist. It's so much cheaper than a real one.
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- Police line-up of 72-year-old former Government ministers in which Gordon Brown has to identify the culprit.
- All political careers end in failure, resignation, failure, resignation, failure, resignation, failure, resignation, failure, resignation, failure, resignation, failure, resignation, failure, resignation, failure, resignation, failure, resignation, failure, resignation, failure, resigination...
- He's a quitter, not a fighter.
- Hope the legislation to remove Mandelson from the Lords is called the Disapeering Act.
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- Monsieur Grok has been taken in for questioning. www.reuters.com/world/europe...
- In fairness, a sentient sun would have a lot of bright ideas.
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- Lord Mandelson relaxing in between resignations.
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- Clearly a job for the Bum Squad. www.standard.co.uk/news/world/h...
- Gordon Brown doing his best Sean Connery voice: "The name's Pond. John Pond. Licence to talk about post neoclassical endogenous growth theory."
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- Every day I take three different placebos to make sure I get the full effect.
- I see Lord Mandelson is celebrating Groundhog Day by becoming trapped in an infinite loop of scandals and resignations.
- Freudians, don't forget that today is Transference Deadline Day, your last chance to unconsciously project your deepest feelings, desires and fantasies onto another.
- At this stage I'm just relieved it isn't another picture of him in his pants.
- Responded to a subliminal dating ad. I ended up seeing someone but only very briefly.
- Coming soon to Channel 4, Politicians in their Pants. Join Jimmy Carr and a celebrity panel as they try to guess which politician is in their pants this week.
- There hasn't been a Mandelson scandal in almost fifteen minutes. I do hope everything is all right.
- Before asking Richard Roper to join the Board of Peace.
- Hearing Mandelson may be stripped of his official title and will now become 'Peter, the former Prince of Darkness'.
- Reposted by Carl MaximME: whenever i make fried eggs the yolks break but when i make scrambled eggs they don’t ALANIS MORISSETTE: i’m sorry but the lyrics are already done
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- If you speed read A Brief History of Time would you finish it before you began?
- Still, at least Lord Mandelson is guaranteed a job on the Board of Peace.
- Mandelson finds himself in a very difficult and painful position, so that osteopathy course may come in useful after all.
- After consuming the mushrooms, Starmer experienced a profound feeling of transcendence and connected with a global consciousness centred on the power of love, but, due to poor polling, performed an immediate U-turn and vommed it all up again. www.telegraph.co.uk/gift/ea05242...
- Mandelson should really take some time out to reflect, but sadly he's no longer capable of casting a reflection.
- BREAKING: Mandelson comeback delayed yet again. www.ft.com/content/91e8...
- Tried microdosing LSD and thought I could fly, but only very short distances.
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- Adopted a rescue box from Schrödinger's Cats Home.
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- It's now time for the former Prince Andrew to be stripped of his one remaining title of 'Andrew'. Henceforth, he shall be referred to by the use of a simple hand gesture.
- I mean, why would you need to spend £10,000 on a course teaching the pseudoscientific principles of manipulation when Peter Mandelson was right there?
- The Brexits will continue until morale improves.
- Reposted by Carl MaximCan’t believe they released the Epstein files to cover up for the Melania movie.
- For when you gaze long into the Melania, the Melania gazes also into you.
- Dog Whistle and I'll Come to You... www.independent.co.uk/bulletin/new...
- Product Idea: Super Smart TV that automatically switches itself off whenever Trump starts speaking.
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- Hello Dragons. I'm looking for £50,000 in return for a 0.000000000000000001% share in my homeopathy business. #dragonsden
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- Very concerned for the kids who end up with Mr Grok. www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2026/01...
- Apparently Mordor is still trying to put together the money.
- The great thing about the Cubists was their ability to think outside the box.
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