J. Michael Mull
I've ran out of clever things to write here about five social networks ago, so I'm just gonna play this out a little bit and see if it sticks.
- Reposted by J. Michael MullSome blind and low vision fans will get to use haptic tablets at Super Bowl 60. It allows them to feel the ball as it moves around the field. n.pr/49Z7YDT
- Never call a woman a sourpuss. Noted.
- uh huh, so, are the only adults in the room in the room with you right now?
- my timeline is increasingly becoming quote posts of twitter screenshots and I don't know why some of you even left there
- it’s what’s on the inside that counts (birthday cards!!!)
- a wellness specialist is a cult leader with less ambition
- 1. I just learned Dril was on Bluesky 2. I want to learn who got Dril suspended
- RIP James Joyce. You would have made a legendary shitposter
- some of us would like to visit a haunted house in February is all I’m saying
- I bet Pitbull has played more Christmas parties for Ponzi schemes than any other artist on the planet.
- sometimes I think I post more than I do but it’s just me yelling in my head at my phone. It’s honestly better for everyone this way
- introduce yourself with the name your parents almost gave you hello, Dominic speaking
- Reposted by J. Michael Mull[Not loaded yet]
- thanks for following along on my narcissism journey
- drunk cigarette is somewhere toward the middle of RFK’s food pyramid, so who am I to argue?
- I'm sorry, but if there isn't any men's water polo, can you really call yourself an olympics?
- *on a blind date with Krang* So, uh, what’s the insurance rate on a Technodrome?
- went to school and my teacher made me turn my 10,000 Maniacs t-shirt inside out. so embarrassing, you guys
- Turning Point USA announced the performers for their alternative Super Bowl halftime show and everyone was surprised they could secure The Who???
- I’m not aloof, I’m arcane, bitch.
- Me, a leftist, 2016: voted Bernie in primary, Clinton in election Me, a leftist, 2020: voted Bernie in primary, Biden in election Me, a leftist, 2024: voted Biden in primary, Kamala in election Me, a leftist, 2028: voting Pritzker in primary, whoever including Gavin in election Shut up, assholes
- Punxsutawney Phil is Plato's Allegory of the Cave come to life, except we’re the prisoners cheering for a shadow illusion while Phil is blinded by the sun's truth. His immediate reaction is to return to the comfort of the dark. A philosopher for the modern age. Anyway, six more weeks of winter.
- 🎵The best part of breaking up is the capacity to taste the bitter and the sweet in your cup🎵
- YouTube recommended a video titled 'Johnny Weir Skates "My Way" at the 2006 Winter Olympics.' I clicked thinking it was the Limp Bizkit song, but of course it turned out to be Frank Sinatra and now I hate myself so much
- I hate to break it to you, but the automobile lobbyists solved “the trolley problem” decades ago
- In school, we were told our future jobs didn’t exist yet. I didn’t realize one of those off-in-the-distance career paths was just defrauding elderly MAGA rubes.
- best part of The Devil Wears Prada 2 trailer is I, like Meryl Streep, don't remember a single thing about the first movie
- more like St. Frigid’s Day. It is cold, people. It is cold!
- People will go on and on all day, every day, lecturing us about looking out for one another, about decency, yet they never once use alt text. You know what these people are: PERFORMATIVE ASSHOLES. Accessibility isn’t a suggestion, it is the bare minimum for people you claim to give a damn about
- pardon me for adding a little seasonal padding
- pivoting to inconsequential
- DO 👏 NOT 👏 EMAIL 👏 ME 👏 A 👏 BIRTHDAY 👏 PROMO 👏 CODE 👏 FOR 👏 10% 👏 OFF 👏 WHEN 👏 YOU 👏 HAVE 👏 A 👏 GENERAL 👏 20% 👏 PROMO 👏 CODE 👏 ANYONE 👏 CAN 👏 USE. 👏 THESE 👏 DON'T 👏 EVEN 👏 STACK 👏 WHICH 👏 WOULD 👏 ACTUALLY 👏 BE 👏 USEFUL 👏 INSTEAD 👏 OF 👏 ANNOYING 👏 RUBBISH 👏 THAT 👏 MAKES 👏 ME 👏 DISLIKE 👏 YOU. 👏👏👏
- Since Jan 31 is the end of the fiscal year for many companies, things tend to die on my birthday. Sega stopped producing hardware, Borders Books closed, Amazon Fresh shutdown, etc. However, I was reminded that this gem came out nearly 20 years ago today. This was my version of Avengers: Endgame
- I'll be hosting the Un-American Half-Time Show in my bedroom for all the good folks on Omegle
- T.G.I.W.F.
- not liking today one bit. get me the whiskey
- the oligarchs are winning
- drove my mother to the mall, where and when she bought me a thing of candy (I am a ridiculous person). Anyway, one of those kiosk guys who are always overdressed tried getting my attention by saying I look like the second coming of Christ. Religious affiliation aside, at least I can pass for 33
- I don't understand 95% of the acronyms used here. I almost care, but then I remember I shouldn't.
- kicked off Bake Off after getting the Paul Hollywood handshake and rubbing his palm with my index finger
- go ahead and try to kink shame me. it's only going to make me kinkier
- If you ever come into contact with Melania, please call her Melanie for me
