Ame Dyckman
NYT Bestselling/Geisel-winning GRATEFUL #kidlit author! (If YOU’RE a l’il weird too, we’re gonna be pals! 😄!) NEWEST 📚: 🦇🐈🐀BAT, CAT & RAT #4: 🍂A GREAT FALL🍂 and #3: ⛱️THE BEACH DAY⛱️; 🐥DUCKIE & SNAPS🐊 #1: WE CANNOT BE FRIENDS; etc.! And MORE 📚 soon! 😄!
- When you read a short story that’s SO BRILLIANT, you momentarily get a British accent: “I say, ‘WELL DONE!’” 😳😅! “I mean, um, nice job.”
- If your homemade cheesecake cracks, HAVE FUN WITH IT! 😂!
- It’s SO COLD, the Sani-wipes I leave in my car FROZE into a brick! A Sani-brick! I guess I could just THROW IT at germs! 😂!
- 🌽🌾🌽🌾🌽🌾: “YES!” ME: “NO!” I like to go against the grain.
- Snow day so we made Monte Cristo sandwiches! (They look like they got snowed on, too! 😂!)
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- I need a haircut. I Googled “SHORT WOLF.” Google gave me THIS.
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- Bought a fancy potpourri for the holidays! The whole ride home, I thought about how GOOD our house was about to smell! Got home and discovered… A SKUNK had sprayed our house! 😳🦨😝😂😂😂! #MerryChristmas
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- How do we have so many BUSTED rolls of gift-wrapping tape in our Christmas supplies? It’s like someone wrapping last year threw a GIANT TANTRUM and— Wait… I think that was ME. 😅😂!
- I ain’t Dutch—but my baby is! 😂😋!
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- There’s NO WAY this sign is handmade.
- Sign at the baking soda factory: ❌NO VINEGAR ALLOWED!❌ Not even in salad shakers! (This means YOU, Carol!)
- When email Subject lines get cut off and you have to guess what the whole thing says. Today: 💻✉️: “WHY ARE MEN’S AND WOMEN’S BUTT—” ME: “Hee-hee! This is gonna be GOOD!” 💻✉️: “—ONS ON OPPOSITE SIDES?” ME: “Aw. Not where I thought they were goin’ with that…”
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- Of course they’re beautiful but You can be harassed By hummingbirds As you’re trying to refill Their feeder Like tiny winged cats Waiting for supper That can hover At eye-level Forever
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- HAVE YOU SEEN THIS THREAD about a child’s stolen violin? Just awful. Please 👀 and pass it on! Hoping for a happy reunion! ❤️🎻! #kidlit @erinrew.bsky.social
- TRUE FACT: All mammals get goosebumps. (Geese get goose goosebumps. 😂!)
- WEIRD LITTLE PSA: It’s getting cold outside. If you keep chewing gum in your car, it’s getting cold, too. And cold gum is HARD gum! ASK ME HOW I KNOW! 😅😂💥🦷💥! (I’m totally fine. Was just “OW!” and SURPRISED! 😅😂!)
- Read a poem this morning by a Real Poet who said she was raised Calvinist. At first, I felt a little Less Than. I wasn’t raised Calvinist. Don’t really know what being raised Calvinist means. Then I remembered: I was raised Calvinist AND Hobbes. *lifts chin confidently*
- CATALOG: “This may be your last catalog!” ME: “It’s not.” CATALOG: “No, we mean it this time. This may ACTUALLY be YOUR LAST CATALOG!” ME: “Nope. I’ll be 100 years old, attempting Fonzie’s waterski-over-🦈s stunt, crash, die, get buried, & STILL get this catalog!” CATALOG:
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- Saw a roadside sign that read: “I BUY ALL COLLECTIBLES!” MY 🧠: “Well, that can’t be right. I mean, ALL collectibles? You’d run out of space. Like, 📞: ‘Hello, Storage City? Hi. I’d like to rent a unit. No, larger. LARGER. What do you have in a small planet? Yes, I’ll hold.’”
- Husband Guy was taking out the trash last night when SUDDENLY this bunny in our yard SAT STRAIGHT UP ON ITS BACK LEGS, and in the light from the streetlight, its eyes GLOWED LIKE A MONSTER! So anyways, now I’m the one who has to take out the trash.
- HAPPY #HALLOWEEN, EVERYBODY! ⭐️🎃👻⭐️! It’s so windy here, our zombie gnome keeps blowing over. HE LOOKS SO SURPRISED! 😂!
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- What’s up with that charcoal scent on new dark denim jeans? I SMELL LIKE BBQ! (Wait. Not a bad thing… 😂!)
- Sometimes, I have weird little thoughts. But sometimes, I have WEIRRRD little thoughts. This is one of them. (Sorry in advance!)
- Unexpected sight: A pumpkin A real pumpkin! Growing on a vine In that little patch of dirt Near the curb Downtown A whole real pumpkin! Well, whole except for A few little teeth marks As if sampled by A curious squirrel Or even more curious Toddler
- Tried to order a treat from an online bakery but got this message: 💻: “Your order weighs less than our minimum order weight of 9 lbs. Add 6 lbs. to your 🛒 to check out.” ME: “How ’bout a small bowling ball? Like when your family wants to go bowling but you’re tired?” 💻:
