Noah Constrictor
Vinyl flooring etc.
substack.com/@huskydu?r=1gzxx7
- It’s weird how often I think that being trampled by hogs a lot as a youth gives me credibility in most conversations I enter.
- My kids call me Mr. Toilet.
- open.substack.com/pub/nfsiela/... Husker Du. The Replacements. Prince. State violence.
- I hope your children grow up to be beautiful enough to be in an irritable bowel commercial.
- This will kill 700 Marylanders a day, hon.
- If I played college football I’d want an NIL deal with cigarettes.
- I’ve got the perfect body for getting killed by my own government.
- Looks like Agent Rupert Anderson could've shaved some of these Purdue guys.
- My kids have weaponized the DOJ against the toilet.
- You know what, wine moms, it's perfectly fine to say "Fuck ICE" online using a fun and flirty font like Honey Script.
- Any Democrat running in 2028 who isn’t willing to say by name which officials broke the law and who and how they will be prosecuted isn’t serious about attempting to remedy whatever the fuck is happening in this country on a daily basis.
- There should be conversion therapy for kids who spent Xmas break with their real dads. Clergy should get involved if the child makes dirt bike noises whenever they hear the Deftones.
- Trump has taken the dignity out of American imperialism.
- Hoping to capture Jon Hamm on my trail cam in 2026.
- Merry Christmas
- Jesus Christ Donna Reed with glasses in it’s a wonderful life.
- Like how he gripped the lectern in tonight’s prime time address. Steady and righteous, those sweaty hands at 2 and 10 o’clock like he was driving a Chrysler through a farmer’s market.
- Reposted by Noah Constrictor[Not loaded yet]
- My liver actually loves having tons of booze in it.
- 🎶🎶It’s a cold and it’s a broken rolled up long underweara🎶🎶
- What it’s like being an F-250 owner reading my DEVO is antifa bumper sticker while I dust your not-meant-for-highway-speed ass in my AWD Subaru the first snowstorm of the year.
- Gravy hates me today.
- Kash Patel is a straight up dork.
- Probably more than a thousand calls to 9-1-1 finding a dead grandma were made on these things.
- There’s a kid on my 4th grader’s bball team named Larry.
- Midwestern men should have two looks: Ed and Gein.
- You Need to Shut the Fuck Up About the Communists open.substack.com/pub/nfsiela/...
- You Need to Shut the Fuck Up About the Communists open.substack.com/pub/nfsiela/...
- Cuomo hearing that the Dick Cheney endorsement can’t happen now.
- Overalls for priests.
