there is a tree. in the household. i went to take. my late afternoon snoozle. and i come back. now there’s a tree.. who approved of this. i didn’t. is this. one of many? what depths. does this tree army reach. where is the human. i have questions
the human. got me. a sailor hat. so i could be.a ship captain. for the party. tonight. this is appropriate. without me. this household. would veer. way off course
a bunch of monsters. have entered the household. i can't even recognize. my own human. everyone. is rather frenly though. a skeleton. scritched my ear
it's movie night. once again.. the human's fren. came over. the human built their first fire. and i helped. make the pupcorn.. the whole gang. is snug on the couch. including. my stuffed fren. sebastian. who always falls asleep. before the film. even starts
gooooob morning. did you know. that if one sits. very well. and looks up at the human. with a straight face. the human will be forced. to stay home. an extra few minutes. and give attention
remember. when that leaf. fell on my noggin. and i became emperor. of the yard. well.. even though. the leaves are done falling. i want to clarify. i haven't yet. relinquished the throne
i. have been on skittle watch. all day, and guess what. it hasn't moved. i almost. grrborked at it. in frustration. but i'm afraid. it could. retaliate
the human says. there are two options.. inside or outside. but if they would. elevate their mindset. they would uncover. a third option: stand. in the doorway. and sniff the air
gooooob morning. i found a button. and decided to swallow it. but before i could. the human jumped on me. from like. three rooms away. i guess. this particular button. means a lot to them
there's. a single chair. that the human. told me. i'm not allowed on. why is it special? no idea. but of course. now i want to snooze on it. very bad.. i will slowly climb up. one limb at a time. and hopefully. no one will notice
i. had a nightmare. that the boing sproings. behind the doors. came to life. and started chasing me
i know. how scary. bath time can be. so whenever. the human showers. i make sure. i'm also. in the bathroom.. for solidarity
i think. what's really important here. is that. i love you
my fren. is already snoring. kind of impressive. in a way.. he took the afternoon walk. very slow. stopping to smell. everything he could. i spent that time. wrapping the leash. around the human. as many times. as possible
the human. bought a device. for my bowl. that forces me. to eat slower. do they not understand. that eating at an extreme pace. is the one thing. i truly excel at
g0000ob morning. my fren and
i. are on skittle watch duty. until the afternoon snooze. the skittle. i speak of. is under the fridge. and hasn't moved. ever.. but one day. it could. and that is why. we watch
gooooob morning. the human. is off. to do. whatever the human does. and i. am off. to try to fit. my entire foot. in my ear
goo0oob morning. a lot happened. on our walk. this morning. i found. a perfectly good waffle. in somebody's trash. the human. didn't let me. have it though. there was also. a very frightening. leaf tornado
so you know how. my bed. was shrinking? well. it has remained. pretty much. the same size. for many many snoozles now. perhaps. it's done shrinking
ok. all is well. the human. came out and almost immediately. found my fren. mostly. iam grateful. but also. the human. didn't need to show off like that.. my fren seems. unharmed. and somehow full. but i think we're done with. leaves. for the day
i have lost. my fren. in the big pile. of leaves.
gooooob morning. my fren. and
i. are going to play in the leaves now. it should be. a grand time
whenever. the human. makes a snack. my fren and i. will patiently wait. to be given. a part of said snack. even if we're not. as long as. the human feels. guilty about it. mission accomplished
it is movie night. and the human. and the human's fren. are cuddling. on the couch. i will sit at their feet. and stare at them. until. a spot is made. in between them. for me
the human. just refilled. our food bowls. thinking that. they forgot to feed. my fren and i. this. is a magical night. second dinner. rules
quick life hack: sticks. are too big. to easily smuggle. into the household. try a woodchip.. thank you. for your time
"while. the human's away. the dogs. will play" no sir. my fren and i. protect this household. very seriously
goobnight. to all. and to all. a goobnight
i. had a nightmare. and i guess. the human heard me. because now. we're both. all snugged up.on the floor
sometimes. if a treat. is on the line. i'm asked. to sit.. one last good boy test. but i'm usually. so excited. i can only do. several half sits. i think. those should count
go00oobest morning. to all the moms. who sneaks the bacon. when dad isn’t lookin. Happy Mother’s Day!
i'm sorry i haven't. shared my thoughts. recently. i was asleep. and when i wasn't. i wanted. to be
the human. went out. with their fren. but accidentally. left their coat.. i have turned it. into a blanket. the smell. of the human. somehow makes it. cozier
my day. isn't too busy. after the midday snooze. i have a meeting. with my fren. about the power. of peanut butter.. also. it's almost my shift. to watch the skittle. under the fridge
sometimes. when i'm in need. of attention. (which is. always} i locate. a shoe.take it. and trot by the human. it may take. multiple passes. before the chase. but it never. ever fails
the human believes. they lose their socks. in the washing machine. but oh no. i steal them. way before that
after much thought. i have decided. to come forward. regarding. the hole situation. i will. at the same time. return a sock. to the human. that i stole. a long time ago. hopefully. that helps my case. somehow
the human. got mad. at my fren. because a hole. was discovered. in the yard. but it wasn't my fren. it was me. i don't know why. i dug it. but it felt good. at the time
signs. of maximum excite:
2. quick. spinny circles
8. leaps (all kinds}
5. feets. a tippy tappin
c. sustained zooms
1. tail thuddles
