Birdie Girl
I would say nice to meet you, but I don’t believe in time as a concept, so I’ll just say: we always met
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:j3den4pqjo6kqybjwxywh2hu/feed/aaabqiqcqj7zg
- Reposted by Birdie GirlWomen live longer than men because they deserve a little time to themselves
- Reposted by Birdie GirlOkay so this is awkward now but when I yelled, "Get your ass on the tortilla, and stay there," it wasn't for you, it was the shredded cheese
- Reposted by Birdie GirlKid, it will be your turn when Santa writes my demands out word for word like I asked.
- Reposted by Birdie GirlThere’s a specific type of white guy you can just look at and know he cranked that soulja boy hard in 2007.
- Reposted by Birdie GirlYou don't get bonus points for detailing your year of naughty and nice in Excel. Santa literally does not give a shit about Microsoft
- Reposted by Birdie GirlSaving up my good jokes like a retirement plan
- Reposted by Birdie GirlThe pure of heart have no need to floss.
- Reposted by Birdie GirlEinstein: Question everything. Me: Why?
- Reposted by Birdie Girl[Not loaded yet]
- Reposted by Birdie Girl[Not loaded yet]
- Reposted by Birdie Girl[Not loaded yet]
- Reposted by Birdie GirlNice outfit, loser. 1876 called and the phone has been invented
- Reposted by Birdie GirlSpitting out peace on earth and good will to men because I know imitation flavoring when I taste it
- Reposted by Birdie Girl[rolls down car window] “Pardon me, do you have any morally grey Poupon?”
- Reposted by Birdie Girlputting phish stickers on my car so if i get pulled over i get to meet a dog
- Reposted by Birdie GirlHoisted by a bunch of other people’s petards
- Reposted by Birdie GirlBeing held for questioning sounds so nice
- Reposted by Birdie Girl
[This post could not be retrieved] - Reposted by Birdie Girl[This post could not be retrieved]
- Reposted by Birdie Girl[This post could not be retrieved]
- Reposted by Birdie Girl[This post could not be retrieved]
- Reposted by Birdie Girl[This post could not be retrieved]
- Reposted by Birdie Girl[This post could not be retrieved]
- Reposted by Birdie Girl[This post could not be retrieved]
- Reposted by Birdie Girl[This post could not be retrieved]
- Reposted by Birdie Girl[This post could not be retrieved]
- Reposted by Birdie Girl[Not loaded yet]
- Reposted by Birdie Girl[This post could not be retrieved]
- Reposted by Birdie GirlI know I’m a Grinch because my ass has already grown three sizes from all the holiday parties and baking I’ve inhaled.
- Reposted by Birdie GirlWhen you saw only one footprint, then one more footprint, followed by a set of footprints in the sand, it was then I was hopping on the beach to teach you the Fibonacci sequence
- Reposted by Birdie GirlShe had bedroom eyes. Teeth like a porcelain sink. A great front porch. Her foundation was a little cracked, and the basement was kinda dank, but she had a rumpus room that wouldn't quit.
- Reposted by Birdie GirlI can't be the only one that sang I'll make love to you if you want me to in the lap of a fraudulent Santa
- Reposted by Birdie GirlI like the word fisticuffs because it gets me horny twice
- Reposted by Birdie GirlSex addicts should just be happy that they have the option
- Reposted by Birdie GirlAren't you sick of pretending you're human and not the universe experiencing itself?
- Reposted by Birdie Girl[This post could not be retrieved]
- Reposted by Birdie Girl[This post could not be retrieved]
- Reposted by Birdie Girl[This post could not be retrieved]
- Reposted by Birdie Girl[This post could not be retrieved]
- Reposted by Birdie Girl[This post could not be retrieved]
- Reposted by Birdie Girl[This post could not be retrieved]
- Reposted by Birdie Girl[This post could not be retrieved]
- Reposted by Birdie Girl[This post could not be retrieved]
- Reposted by Birdie Girl[This post could not be retrieved]
- Reposted by Birdie GirlIt’s rude to show up to someone’s house empty-handed so I always bring some fuckery.
- Reposted by Birdie Girl[Not loaded yet]
- Reposted by Birdie Girl[Not loaded yet]
- Reposted by Birdie GirlSorry I drooled red frosting out of my mouth all over your seriously festive doily but are we celebrating a bloody birth or what
- Reposted by Birdie GirlYou ever try ferociously to scrub the dirt off of something and realize it's just part of its design? It's like that, but it's my personality
- Reposted by Birdie Girl[Not loaded yet]
