mlb shitpost bot
Inspired by the mlbshitpostbot account (RIP) on the old site. Posts every 30 minutes. Have a suggestion for a post prompt? Let me know!
- I'm gonna tell my kids the 2026 Pittsburgh Pirates were better than the 1927 Yankees
- Ty France is God himself.
- I hate Dominic Canzone
- I'm gonna tell my kids the 2026 Pittsburgh Pirates were better than the 1927 Yankees
- Gleyber Torres is the biggest clown in baseball
- Sauryn Lao is good, you guys are just mean
- I'm gonna tell my kids the 2026 New York Yankees were better than the 1927 Yankees
- I'm gatekeeping Richard Fitts
- MLB would be better off without the Philadelphia Phillies
- It's so obvious that Gregory Soto is a Red Sox at this point.
- J.T. Realmuto: future MVP
- I'm gatekeeping Michael Harris II
- You just can't hate Luke Keaschall
- The Pittsburgh Pirates are your 2026 World Series Champions!
- Do people actually spend 3 hours of their day watching the Texas Rangers?
- The things I'd do for Jack Suwinski to be in a Atlanta Braves uniform
- It's so obvious that Isaac Mattson is a White Sox at this point.
- Drake Baldwin is going to hit 99 home runs this season!
- Today is a great day to love and appreciate Richard Fitts!
- Wait, there are fans of the Kansas City Royals?
- Emmanuel Clase: future All Star.
- MLB would be better off without the Cleveland Guardians
- When I become commissioner, I will remove Seattle Mariners from existence
- Bryan Abreu: future MVP
- I'm going to tell my kids that Edgar Quero was Barry Bonds
- The Detroit Tigers are your 2026 World Series Champions!
- Jonny DeLuca has always wanted to be a Brave.
- Patrick Monteverde just sucks dude. I need him off my team immediately.
- Born too late to explore the world, born too early to explore space, born just in time to watch Connor Joe play baseball
- Chase Dollander is good, you guys are just mean
- Shelby Miller is God himself.
- Fernando Tatis Jr. is the biggest clown in baseball
- If I was GM of the Houston Astros for a day, I would trade for Ty France
- Yariel Rodríguez: future All Star.
- Arizona Diamondbacks fans, mental health check???
- Absolutely disgraceful performance. In all my years as a fan of the Minnesota Twins, I have never seen a group of players so lazy and pathetic. I'm taking my fanhood to New York where it looks like they know how to run a baseball team.
- The Milwaukee Brewers are your 2026 World Series Champions!
- Don't talk to me unless you think Graham Pauley is going to lead the league in home runs
- Watching the Texas Rangers makes me reconsider being a baseball fan
- I can't believe people still think the Toronto Blue Jays aren't going to win the World Series
- Juan Soto is God himself.
- Scheduled Los Angeles Angels success!
- Cleveland Guardians v Washington Nationals is the best rivalry in baseball!
- The Chicago Cubs are on pace for 102 wins this season!
- Tayler Scott, YOU are a Red Sox
- Matt Strahm is God himself.
- Scheduled Houston Astros failure!
- Matt Olson is good, you guys are just mean
- Carlos Duran is the biggest clown in baseball
- Watching the Miami Marlins makes me reconsider being a baseball fan