Lumi
genderqueer kitty cat, 29, he/him. autistic/adhd/schizoid, physically disabled, aromantic (but not ace), fiber artist, writer?, illustrator?
this is a vent account
art account: @snowafterfyre.bsky.social
- I honestly don’t think people ever see my posts here and whatever. I don’t care, I’m always invisible. What’s one more knife in the wound. But I miss Vent more than I have words for. I miss the react buttons and the feeling of SUPPORT, like I wasn’t just talking into the void. wish I wasn’t so alone
- I’m not really sure how I feel about egge. It’s so… clunky and laggy to use. I also can’t find people I’m interested in following? The crowd there seems veryyyyy young. I’ve only seen a few people my age. And so many people there are… not. how do I say this politely. Not the kind of people I ever
- the world is crumbling and I’m too disabled to exert any control over my environment, any personal agency, and i am feeling….. morose. badly. despair.
- well. made an egge account. Same username as on vent, if any friends want to add me there (or dm me if you forget the @ I guess?) Hoping it will feel better to post there than on here. It’s so scary to post here and idk …. empty. I also don’t like how panic inducing the politics on the timeline is
- I always find it so weird when people talk about migraines like it’s JUST a really bad headache. Like ?? it’s neurological and affects ✨the entire body✨. Everyone has different symptoms. You can’t reduce it down to just head pain. It’s a debilitating health condition and you’d think
- once again conducting the yearly ritual sacrifice of my blood (to the phlebotomist) to retain my vitality and strength (from HRT)
- I’m so so so so tired of playing co-op in project sekai global server. It’s ALWAYS three people pick hitorinbo envy or boss songs after boss songs or tiering songs. I HATE IT. I’m here to have fun not play the same boring awful songs over and over and over again. I would just play solo but
- finished knitting my one sweater that i’ve been so excited about all this time and I feel…… nothing. a sudden worry it’s ugly after all. That the 3/4 sleeve was a bad idea. That the colors are bad. I don’t know. I thought it would feel good to finish it
- measured my second bobbin of handspun in this green fiber and I have just over 50% as much yarn as in the first bobbin 😬 I must have spun this one denser? or thicker? but this means I might not have enough total yarn at the end to make the sweater I wanted ): honestly devastated
- what a sad Ides of March this year ): it could have been so funny. so incredibly funny.
- did a survey for this one yarn supplier I like and the one question kind of … made me pause- “Why do you knit?” I don’t know??? I’ve been knitting for almost 20 years? It’s just part of me part of my life? To not knit is to stop breathing? I always always have some project on the needles
- it’s nice to dream about being on something like project runway, but … it’s not *accessible* in any way. The amount of physical (and emotional) work these people have to do is nuts. 12+ hour work days! I can’t even stand for five minutes without pain. I would never be able to work like that or run
- i don’t want to update to ios18 but this app i’ve been recommended (egge space?) requires ios15.6 or higher. I’m trying to figure out if I can update to versions of ios that are no longer signed and my head is spinning. I’m tired of updates making everything Different and Worse and user hostile
- thinking about men are called “brave” for wearing a dress etc bc that opens him up to harassment, it really is doing something dangerous. And how I want to wear feminine things cute things but also how I’m so fucking tired of being brave and being resilient. I have to do that every day
- you could probably write an essay on how the AIDS crisis also led to a fallout in menswear. How the AIDS crisis directly created this chokehold on mens fashion where the entire thing is centered around trying to make yourself as NOT GAY looking as possible. The fear of being seen as gay, the fear
- been watching project runway and it’s fascinating to see how the designers view womenswear vs menswear. It’s kind of like… womenswear has more freedom in silhouettes and in fabric prints whereas menswear has rules, it has coding, little tiny details mean very specific things. You have freedom
- me: I don’t have synesthesia! also me: but colors ARE smells
- I just want to feel good about myself and my appearance again. I know it sounds vain, but I haven’t felt good about myself since starting T. My clothes don’t fit right and I’ve lost all my hair. I don’t feel attractive and it really hurts. I want to feel good in the clothes I wear,
- I have to keep reminding myself of that post that’s like “thousands of people managed to live meaningful lives during the fall of the roman empire”. like a mantra in my head. or I will fall apart. I am not ok
- i miss Vent. I feel like I’m going insane and a character limit is Not It
- my mom: oh they would never cut medicaid! too many people rely on it. They’d never let that happen. the House right now: …hold my beer