Sharkey 2.0
Sharkey is a fictional character. Cautionary example that assholes might mistake for cool. Did not not invent the word Metroidvania.
- I guess they unbanned my original account at some point? Imma just keep this one in my back pocket for the next time it happens I guess.
- I only deal with neighbors on fae rules. Like, if you want your cat back leave six chicken and three duck eggs in the mushroom circle and I'll let him back out at moonrise.
- There's no better revenge on siblings than their kids thinking you're the coolest shit in the universe and declaring that they're also going to live in a bus and get paid to play videogames and read comic books.
- overhearing the kids talking about the sans fight in undertale and I just blurted out "you'd have to be some kind of dick to want to fight sans" and their mortification followed by excitement was exactly like when I had a couple of hispanic coworkers and they realized I could understand spanish
- I'm gonna do robberies wearing a domino mask and prison stripes while carrying a big sack with a dollar sign on it so anyone who gives a description sounds like a crazy asshole.
- The manual is all "turn these knobs in exactly this position and then turn on the pumps" okay done "... but not before throwing this switch or it will throw hot shit everywhere and electrocute you" *dead, covered in hot shit* Well, fuck.
- gonna drink beer on my beach all day like a lazy piece of garbage
- oh thank god
- Fucking around on Hinge like no, I really just want someone to watch cartoons and play videogames with. No, I'm like fifty. Yes, I know what twitch is. Listen, do you like Adventure Time? Also, do you have a car? I want to firebomb a concentration camp... Hello? ... Hello?
- I love how if you wake up and take a slug of whiskey it's a problem, but if you have a glass of chardonnay by the pool at noon it's cute. Anyway I'm doing both.
- I like to pretend I'm a nice person but my inner mister rogers died years ago. Nuremberg trials would be great. Flensing and scaphing would be better. We need some kind of stasis technology to keep the pigshit wannabe king alive and screaming as an example forever.
- If I had a nickel for every time a star trek season cliffhanger resolved with "put them to sleep" I'd have two nickels, but at least last time they weren't hanging from the cliff for two fucking years.
- I feel like I should sign up and then just fuck around on my phone until they fire me. I feel like maybe we should all do that.
- When you've been told for years that dating sites are hell and men never get matches, so you put up a half-assed profile like "Hi, I'm a traumatized autistic queerdo that lives in a bus" and get shitloads of messages in like an hour. Then you look at every other dude on there like oh. Ooooh.
