Simon J
One of those late middle-aged men with a large synthesiser collection you were warned about. Widower. Single Dad. Excelling at both. Cymraeg
- One year separates Mariah Carey and I. She looks like that. I look like this.
- I bet the police have found a shit load of tasseled loafers at Mandelson's place.
- I'd be lovely if - like in the not so old days, disgraced public figures would just quietly fuck off, never to be seen again.
- I'm looking after next door's cat, lads. I've received a request to brush the cat's teeth twice a week, lads. With a brush I top with a bead of cat toothpaste and then slip onto my finger. Whut?
- Michael Sheen is Gordon Brown in: Lets Hunt And Kill Peter Mandelson.
- Well....yes....uh-huh.
- My brother has solved his Rubik's cube. It only took him 43 years.
- They've yet to build an AI that can match the sheer volume of tedious ephemera and random digressions that comes out of me in 30 minutes.
- My half brother tells me one of our reindeer has taken to sleeping in a tent, close to a fire. Wuss.
- I'm not well. I mean I can't be. It's Saturday night and I'm not in the pub.
- Tell me again how the younger generations should look to sportsmen as role models.
- There's a review of the Melania movie in the i paper that oozes lovingly worded disdain and sarcasm. I'm writing the reviewer fan mail.
- Two blokes in fluorescent gilets and shorts blocking the pavement by demonstrating how best to escape a leg lock, while waiting for their bus, is peak winter North Wales.
- I see the people who like to point out that "war is a bad thing" are doing quite the trade in fatuous profundity today, lads.
- I see Centrists, who've been right about a lot over the past decade, are being scorned by the people who've put us up shit creek again.
