In bed and feel good about it. I think today I just was disappointed really hardcore about things and got super dark about it. I wonder what I should do next that’s more positive for me
think part of the issue is just not being true to myself in my actions for a rly long time
The Most Disturbing Book Ever Written | No Longer Human
YouTube video by Unsolicited advice
i think i m just depressed so im going to decide to stop it the next day and fix it (find things i enjoy doing again)
has anyone read no longer human if so thoughts?
one of those nights where i dont wanna be myself or here but just somewhere else
#frwhenever im freaking out i just have this pipe dream that if i was being chill in japan it wouldnt feel this way
in early hs my unrealistic ideal of myself was to be just like chilling in japan designing monsters for games and having a cool blog with my moody pics
i'm not autistic but i'm something else they havent figured out yet and probably wont ever
I feel like i am too smart and awesome to be in my situation right now
Steve Brule - Living On Your Lonesome
YouTube video by PaulIsDeadMissHim
wish i had like, irl friends who i stayed consistent with my whole life. its interesting to me how some people are lucky to have this...i guess i'm used to being solo for so long but it kind of also makes me worried about myfuture.
i am going to be extremely brave and just enjoy things even if its so bad
deep fear of nothing meaning anything anymore and there being no difference in living as there is in being locked in a pitch black coffin with nothing to see hear smell or do
the absolute worst feeling in the entire world is feeling like ur less than an animal in terms of intelligence and will
just no control at all total absolute inability to see outside of the confines you have created for yourself in your habits
i'm in a war against psychosis due to not sharing enough experiences with others
feel like what is very "normal" to me is actually extremely fucked up and not normal to everyone to a degree that is actually concerning lmfao - no way to ground me in the world right now either...feel like all my internal programming and intuitions are "off" from the normal person
Oh hey, the session's already started, go ahead and find a seat anywhere
my greatest acheivement is that i'm able to wake up every morning and do something
one day the misery will end
This guy came to me in my darkest moment
The wisdom of the kaomoji elder…
This time will pass and I will find my home eventually
doodle
bleh
