Alice McFlurry
Mostly one-liners at my own expense
Awkward AF
Midwest to West Coast
- Those are my emotional support pantyhose.
- That's my emotional support grizzly.
- We shouldn't make fun of men with goatees because it's possibly not their fault that they've been slapped so many times that hair no longer grows on the sides of their faces.
- Me: Did you see that article about [blahblahblah]? Them: Yeah, I read the article and [blahblahblah blahblahblah]. Me, a person who only read the headline: Wait, stop. I’m not THAT interested in it.
- The B in BMI stands for Bullshit.
- How much back would a humpback hump if a humpback could hump back?
- Whenever I make plans that I regret (which is almost always), I’m going to take a tip from the Apple Genius Bar and start encouraging my friends and family to cancel by replying with "1"
- For reference:
