Mallory Where
she/it
bad for your computer
literally a lesbian from california
blursed with the wisdom of tiresias
too pretty to proofread my skeets
- I was on instagram and I accidentally saved a post from a lesbian robot girl comic to a collection of home decorating inspiration that I apparently still had with my ex and I guess that sends the post directly to them. does anyone have a car i can jump in front of
- After adding girl chemicals to my brain, a shitload of therapy, and becoming a practicing kinky poly lesbian, comforting the cishet men in my life when they have struggles feels like I've been training in the hyperbolic time chamber dude it's incredible
- Elon's gonna interfere in the next French election
- I'm writing a song & I'm rotating the melody in my head, and I just absentmindedly opened up YouTube and went to search for the song I'm writing so I could listen to it, and I got spinlocked for 5 full seconds before realizing that I have not recorded it yet. So of course it is not available Online
- I just started doing scales on my guitar and looked up and it was FORTY FIVE MINUTES LATER wtf
- I've never muted a word in my time on this website or in the ~5 years I used twitter. Until now I've just been rawdogging all of your Content. Truly this is the end of an era
- The yacht is called Samsara because people are always trying to escape it I bet
- oh. it's a trough day. perhaps that's why I woke up horny and prepared to do incredible violence
- Anecdotally, those 3 problems have been the answer to ~90% of all the worst service outages I’ve ever seen; most of the last 10% is just hardware or miscellaneous user errors. Probably <1% is Acts Of God (e.g. cosmic rays flipping bits) or sabotage. It’s basically never Secret Government Crackdowns
- I am the reason you turn off status change notifications on Discord
- setting `alias "apt-get update"='pacman -Syu'` in my .profile so I don't have to learn a whole new fucking thing
- asking my surgeon for a pussy with valid nuclear launch codes
- I should have become president of the united states and then berserk eclipsed like 100 million transphobes' brains by coming out as trans at my inauguration
- If I explain this to cis people they will look at me like I’m insane, because *this is a manifestly insane thing to have happened in real life*. like I’m so fucking tired but I’m also so fucking angry and I can’t fucking believe it, and that’s just The Trans Experience in AD 2026, huh
- Is there a professional way to say "hey so I'm doing your job and my job right now and it seems like all you've added to this conversation is a really high-latency layer of communication between me and the customer; am I missing something or like. what is your job here"
- There’s an episode of Columbo where the murderer is drunk and gets thrown out of a bar and on his way out he looks at the manager and says “You, and this place, deserve to be in the Valley.”
- I’m drinking a $35 mai tai in Ventura, California. AMA
- “My favorite living author liked one of my skeets about having the lathe of heaven because the president of the United States shit himself on national television” is sure a true sentence
- oh wow I have the lathe of heaven it turns out, what else should I skeet that we all want to end up happening in real life (but that also won’t get me arrested)
