Mallory Where
she/it
bad for your computer
literally a lesbian from california
blursed with the wisdom of tiresias
too pretty to proofread my skeets
- I was on instagram and I accidentally saved a post from a lesbian robot girl comic to a collection of home decorating inspiration that I apparently still had with my ex and I guess that sends the post directly to them. does anyone have a car i can jump in front of
- After adding girl chemicals to my brain, a shitload of therapy, and becoming a practicing kinky poly lesbian, comforting the cishet men in my life when they have struggles feels like I've been training in the hyperbolic time chamber dude it's incredible
- Reposted by Mallory Where[Not loaded yet]
- Elon's gonna interfere in the next French election
- I'm writing a song & I'm rotating the melody in my head, and I just absentmindedly opened up YouTube and went to search for the song I'm writing so I could listen to it, and I got spinlocked for 5 full seconds before realizing that I have not recorded it yet. So of course it is not available Online
- I just started doing scales on my guitar and looked up and it was FORTY FIVE MINUTES LATER wtf
- I've never muted a word in my time on this website or in the ~5 years I used twitter. Until now I've just been rawdogging all of your Content. Truly this is the end of an era
- The yacht is called Samsara because people are always trying to escape it I bet
- oh. it's a trough day. perhaps that's why I woke up horny and prepared to do incredible violence
- Anecdotally, those 3 problems have been the answer to ~90% of all the worst service outages I’ve ever seen; most of the last 10% is just hardware or miscellaneous user errors. Probably <1% is Acts Of God (e.g. cosmic rays flipping bits) or sabotage. It’s basically never Secret Government Crackdowns
- I am the reason you turn off status change notifications on Discord
- Reposted by Mallory WhereHey everyone! Huge news! Our trans girl scout list has sold a total of 146,000 boxes as of today! But MANY trans girl scouts only have 20, 30, 40 boxes sold. I just resorted our list to put those on the top. Go get your girl scout cookies and make a trans kid's day!
- Reposted by Mallory WhereParts and Pain. A good lesson without the harmful stereotypes.
- setting `alias "apt-get update"='pacman -Syu'` in my .profile so I don't have to learn a whole new fucking thing
- asking my surgeon for a pussy with valid nuclear launch codes
- I should have become president of the united states and then berserk eclipsed like 100 million transphobes' brains by coming out as trans at my inauguration
- If I explain this to cis people they will look at me like I’m insane, because *this is a manifestly insane thing to have happened in real life*. like I’m so fucking tired but I’m also so fucking angry and I can’t fucking believe it, and that’s just The Trans Experience in AD 2026, huh
- Reposted by Mallory Where[Not loaded yet]
- Is there a professional way to say "hey so I'm doing your job and my job right now and it seems like all you've added to this conversation is a really high-latency layer of communication between me and the customer; am I missing something or like. what is your job here"
- Reposted by Mallory WhereIt's not that girls are weapons, actually. It's that weapons, as objects coveted by men who view the possession and conspicuous use of them as intrinsically demonstrative of their masculinity, are a type of woman.
- There’s an episode of Columbo where the murderer is drunk and gets thrown out of a bar and on his way out he looks at the manager and says “You, and this place, deserve to be in the Valley.”
- I’m drinking a $35 mai tai in Ventura, California. AMA
- “My favorite living author liked one of my skeets about having the lathe of heaven because the president of the United States shit himself on national television” is sure a true sentence
- oh wow I have the lathe of heaven it turns out, what else should I skeet that we all want to end up happening in real life (but that also won’t get me arrested)
