𝑺 𝒕 𝒆 𝒑 𝒉 ! ✨️
steph | 30 | aro lesbian | she/her
i like bleach, hsr, ffxiv, persona, hq!! and more!
stephesaurus.carrd.co
icon and banner: @grimhauntings.bsky.social
- long boy
- yall the drama situation I had with venue friends (more like all of us having a problem with the one friend who brought us together) is insane btw.
- tldr of it: friend made it sound like she just had preference for black characters. nbd you go girl. and then she started the QoS shit and I wrote her an entire google doc to tell her why that's vile.
- and she folded (I dont believe her, I think she just didnt like the backlash it was causing) BUT TOLD ME TO GO FUCK MYSELF BC I HAD DARED TO CALL HER YOUNG AND SHE "WOULDNT BE TREATED LIKE A KID" THIS GIRL IS 21. I AM 10 YEARS OLDER THAN HER.
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View full threadanyway so I dropped her and no one else really speaks to her either lmao
- sometimes cishet men are so easy to deal with at work like if they make my life harder with weaponized incompetence I just start talking like the embodiment of the pleading emoji tearing up and they fold immediately I dunno why they keep trying it
- woe spicy bun boy yosk gposes be upon ye
- shout out to my friend for being the chilliest straight (ish) dude ever and letting me use his Viera for pics. But also technically he started it. He made a cute gpose of them on a date which opened the flood gates.
- I never thought I'd say this. But I miss living with my mom, I hate being alone so much.
- As much as we butt heads and she doesnt understand my brain, if I come to her crying she will be there for me no matter what. Same for my dad but my mom is a very not emotionally open or touchy person so her being there for me and letting me hug her means a lot.
- so anyway, started working on a thing because I wanted to see if I could lol
- It's not where I want it and I'll probably have to do edits to the normals also which CRIES IDK HOW REALLY but........ yippee!!
- person talking shit about 'everything burns': who tf is opps in terms for ffxiv me: like, practically everyone? you do realize it just stands for opponents right??
- god the new raids are so good. they make me wanna do savage again so badly aaaa
- I read the plot on that horror game that got banned from steam and like... literally there is worst shit in AAA games all the time like ??? especially if there was not gore, I fail to see why Steam banned it at all...
- when your birth control is supposed to make your period be only every three months and you feel the cramps start in the middle of month four after having it last month
- they...
- he!!
- I need to take gposes of my bunboy... he sparks joy. Mayhaps I will do this afternoon.
- twink intersex trans bunny boy go brrrrr
- okay so I didnt ever gpose him but uhhhh I did end up deep diving into various intersex conditions to make sure my portrayal of him being intersex wasn't horribly inaccurate and ended up with lore of which specific condition made him intersex, which effects it had on him, etc.
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View full threadSome of how his body presents might be inaccurate (how female his genitals appear is likely closer to nearly complete AIS) but because of Viera lore (and taking into account mod limitations) I think it's p good!
- everytime I debate if I really need my clonazepam and feel guilty for using it like 30 minutes later im like oh lmao no I absolutely needed it holy shit
- Anxiety since a child really do make you assume "nah it cant be that bad" until its suddenly gone and you are like "oh. it was, in fact, that bad"
- I've ended up in a group of friends from ffxiv venue stuff that vc all the time and stuff and the actual panic being back in one of those friend groups is causing me... trauma is a bitch y'all
- I am gonna push past it because I don't want to be afraid, I want to be there!! I miss that so much! But oh god so much anxiety
- I made spam musubi for lunch (and dinner since it's too much for one person lol)
- For those that don't know btw, I live alone now. I will be moving back in with my parents within a few months probably. At least then I can save money for my hopeful move to Seattle to be with Shelby.
- This is part of why I have been going through it. There was a large amount of lack of communication regarding it all with me left in the dark and that's a huge anxiety trigger for me. I was deeply hurt by people I love so much during this all and I don't know yet if I can forgive them.
- I am gonna try and push through and be more active and talk to friends more tho! I miss how social I used to be so badly, I wanna be me again.
- I've been looking into other options for depression treatments since TMS didn't last long at all this time around and since they now have a non-IV form of the ketamine treatment... I might ask my psych if it'd be a good fit for me.
- Also because I am just tired of feeling like I'm working on trauma and then it slams back nearly full force like I did nothing at all and I just want to FACE IT!! and apparently tripping balls on ketamine often helps people do that so let's go pull that shit right out so I can work through it pls
- the amount of "going through it" I've been having... I am emotionally exhausted and just want things to be okay again
- so I made bun boy to go around as right? I cannot tell you the number of straight men who have paused me on syncshells because of my clearly queer twink-y bunny. they never paused me before on dog girl. It is insane how fragile their little minds and egos are.
- the realization that "no Stephanie, it isn't normal to have large amounts of phlegm after laughing super hard you just have asthma" still gets me tbh
- yall dont understand unless you've heard it I am literally coughing for minutes after laughing super hard like I will have to clear my throat repeatedly 15 min past the laughing fit my airways are angry
- I do not want kids ever but god I wish I could do parenting for the rest of the world on one single thing and thats internet security because the amount parents just do not get what things are and are too lazy to research is insane.
- like do not let your child under the age of like 16 on discord and you better be using the parental functions! and the expectation that if you are worried about their safety based on what is seen with those controls that you will ask to see the messages.
- like just talk to your kids. say you trust them but you dont trust others, that ANYONE can be manipulated and its not about thinking they are easily manipulated or something. like set the expectation from the get go.
- laws that prevent adults from accessing content without giving up privacy should not be a thing. fucking parent your kids.
