Bing bong
I am learning to love myself 🏳️⚧️
- Reposted by Bing bongnermalburg
- Yay the feeling of being a freak with a future obscured in fog is back!
- I'm back I'm good
- Need to have the pegging talk with partner
- The cis feeling of considering ordering women's clothing then becoming worried about how you'd look, then dissociating and feeling like you're falling in place for roughly a minute
- Thinking about how if any of my friends who are trans followed me on main I'd get clocked immediately due to who I follow loool
- Stopped shaving for a few days bc work busy depression ahhh and the dysphoria hit back harder than I thought it would
- Having a fun time being depressed from work and my facial hair growing out making me more depressed
- Worried that if any of my irl trans friends that I'm not out to follow me on main I'll get clocked just by sheer number of mutuals
- Honestly I can crack my egg and go through sexual realization, fuck me tbh
- But what if I had rockin tits
- I'm so hot, good for me
- Lowkey if I wasn't depression drinking (not like a ton!) my caloric intake would be fucked
- Reposted by Bing bong
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- Going to therapy for the first time like a dog who's never heard of the vet (it is a good thing)
- I'm sorry
- Is it cis to shudder when you think of your partner pegging you and calling you a good girl? Asking for a friend
- Reposted by Bing bong[Not loaded yet]
- Honestly it's just a constant cycle of realizing the only thing in the way is fear, not want
- Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck I'm realizing I don't want to wear shirts or dresses because Im worried about my dick being seen not because I don't want to
- Skirts
- I love going through an identity crisis while state officials are spouting rhetoric about putting trans people in camps
- Drank too much and now the question of "if you could just press a button and become a woman instantly would you?" Id answer yes and it's really giving with my newfound sense of nonbinaryness a loop, I genuinely think I have a preference of who I want to be
- Me and the girls
- Love going through a certified dysphoric crashout and the heat death of the United States simultaneously, very cool
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- Tormentnexus.jpg
- I'm feeling really good! Trying out some new looks, the piercings are healing well, good stuff!
- Watched I saw the TV glow earlier and absolutely crashed out we're doing great
- I now have 2 new piercings in each ear was nervous but now I'm very happy!
- Crashed out on main talking about an escaped homonculus who knew too much and my friend asked what's wrong and I was like "idk just schizo posting ☺️"
- But forreal nothing has changed about liking women but I've had to accept that it's more sapphic than het which in retrospect means things
- I think part of not feeling like I could be has been how heteronormative media is. This is a completely original take.
- I think I need to ask my partner to help my try to be more feminine
- Like I'm too tall or too wide at the shoulders or I can't get my shave close enough and that invalidates my identity actually get the fuck out of my head
- Thinking about reading posts on the mft sub about how someone thinks they're not x enough to be trans and feeling like I wa t ot cry
- This week has been very affirming! I scheduled an ear piercing and even though I won't be able to wear them for a long while I ordered new earrings out of excitement!
- I know there are places to get them cheaper by thrifting or friends and ordering new stuff is a expensive BUT it was important for me just to put my money where my mouth was. I WANT this and even though I won't get to wear them for months just having them is reassuring
- Ear piercing is now this weekend but it is still happening lol
- As I've coped with potential transness one thing that occured to me is that Ive given very little thought to what the goal aesthetic would benas opposed to the abstract concept of change and I've come to the conclusion that it's 1980s Diana Ross
- Reposted by Bing bong@gralefrit.bsky.social You have to see these! A friend of mine has been collating a series of images entitled "Things my students have written turned into Philomena Cunk quotes" and they're just glorious.
- Had a very long,very productive conversation with my partner today! Yesterday I let them know I'm officially non-binary and while that went over well initially I think they got in their own head about it which we have begun untangling today!
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- I never had a diary but posting through it is legit ngl
- Ear piercing tomorrow! Very excited!
- At the inception of the generational dysphoric crash out a couple weeks ago I shaved my face and I think my knee jerk reactions to people's reactions was a big nail on the coffin
- Just friends who had no idea what was going on saying (benignly) "why would you do that ?" And then sprilaing mentally in a way that was unsustainable
- Thinking about girl jogging shorts and how hot my legs would look
- Less sentimental, more drunk euphoric and watching anime (the good place)
- Things are good 😬
- I cannot afford emotionally to keep doing this
- Ask I want to do is wear my new shirt and talk to her like I planned and I can't and it's not her fault not at all but I want to share and it makes me feel like my desire is imposing on her even though she's literally asleep bc eepy
- I am absolutely crashing out I have the most wonderful woman in the world on my arm and I had wanted to come out to her but I came home late from DND and she's asleep
- My partner knows I'm not exactly cis and enjoy wearing clothing that isn't heteronormative but I think that when the the new pullover I ordered(that she knows about and likes!!!) I'll tell her it feels good and I want to commit to this
- I also have my eyes on some earrings I like
