It's been 3.5 years since my egg cracked and 2 years since I started HRT, and nothing has changed. What's the damn point of it all? I've waited in vain for my faith to be rewarded; for even the smallest of signs to show me that my transition will be successful. I'm so tired.
1/4
I don't look any different. I'm destined to be ugly forever. I'll never be pretty. I want to take a belt sander to my face. Internally, I'm still a mess, paralysed by my own fears, shame and internalised transphobia. I've got no friends. I don't belong anywhere.
2/4
I try not to compare myself to others, but I see lots of pretty girls achieving their milestones, and I feel left behind. Why can't I be pretty too? I'm so sorry to be this annoying. I just don't know how many more times I can pick myself back up from the floor.
3/4
Sep 17, 2024 22:28It all feels so very futile. 3.5 years of nothing. I don't see a future for myself. I can't live like this anymore. I feel like giving up, but I know I can't pretend to be a man ever again. If I can't be a woman, I'd rather be nothing.
4/4
