👹
excuse your mouth
- Ever look and someone and just know they’re bad in bed?
- I didn’t get the memo on the hot new water bottle
- Do you lay down in the shower or are you normal
- Spent $400 on a skin care thing for JPs bday. He better use this thing 😩
- Passed my second licensing exam (one to go), had a killer leg day, now gonna spend the rainy day playing video games and go celebrate with some friends tonight ♥️
- Unfortunately will have to spend the next few months dodging conversations to avoid having to tell people Lorde doesn’t really do anything for me
- 4 musicals to get to know me
- If I can hear you chewing over my noise cancelling headphones then perhaps you should be hunted for sport
- I just know it’s girthy and mostly balls 😍😍
- Baby it doesn’t matter if you have 7 plates on either side - if those legs are bending less than a plane wing in mild turbulence, you’re not gonna do shit for those muscles
- Really need to get tf offline 😞
- Boss told me I look like a tech ceo today and if he means Elon I’m gonna kms
- Trader Joe’s online ordering would heal roughly 15% of my overall anxiety in life
- Hi short king with the dumpy at the gym! how are you short king with the dumpy at the gym?
- I love butts 🙂↕️
- It is FAR too early and I am FAR too busy today for me to be this worked up 😵💫😵💫😵💫
- Invest in your mattress and bedding. Money spent you will never regret.
- How did I wake up 40min early and end up having the best chest day I’ve had in weeks?
- Excited to announce that the next time I hear about the “viral Dubai chocolate” I’ll be rocketing myself directly into the surface of the sun
- If your feet are in the pic I’m zooming in I don’t know what to tell you
- Two aggro white guys talking about crypto at the gym? Now I’ve seen everything!
- Penises are just so pretty
- I thought the Rimowa and Loro Piana ads were funny but IG trying to sell me $8k Francis Bacon prints is crazyyyyy. How well off does IG think I am lmao
- Not to be all gainer core but I do tend to prefer the way my body looks after a big meal
- I think I’m just going to need to make peace with the fact that if I want a good sleeper sofa for the guest room it’s gonna be expensive 😔
- PM just called to say she knows I had a rough week + not to take clients’ bad decisions personally. So simple but it meant so much to feel seen. All this to say if you’re in a position of leadership, it makes all the difference to your team to show you care.
- Mon: Finnish salmon soup w/ fresh homegrown dill Tues: cacio e pepe ravioli w/ asparagus and Italian sausage Wed: bad mood Thurs: steak tips w/ gravy, caprese salad w/ homegrown basil Fri: homemade Alfredo pizza w/ grilled chicken and broccolini 👨🏻🍳👨🏻🍳👨🏻🍳
- I’ll use better than bullion as a dipping sauce at this point idc idc
- The best part about being in a creative field is putting so much of yourself into your work. The worst part about being in a creative field is putting so much of yourself into your work.
