I would add one more, which was my late Arthur:
4. Too Smart To Be Functional
No matter the breed, every dog has one of three default dispositions:
1. Dipshit
2. Has a Job
3. Trying to Pick a Fight with God
This was absolutely Bear, the German shepherd of my youth. He had at least a 200-word vocabulary, and used to ask for explanations. And then overthink them. Like once he saw the wind making the storm door bang open and closed. He did his "tell me what that is" dance, and was told it's just the wind.
Feb 4, 2026 04:34FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE he was afraid of the wind, though he never had been before. But now he knew wind was an invisible ghost that bangs doors, and that Just Ain't Right.
His brother Polar, a Golden retriever, was almost as smart but completely unbothered. "Wind," OK, it has a name, it's fine.
