The Poly Advisor (Michael E. Rubin)
• Helping Humans ethically navigate Non-Monogamy
• On a mission to end toxic masculinity
• Proud Ally & Jolly Good Fella
• @merubin75.bsky.social
✉️ michael@thepolyadvisor.com
☎️ 847.370.3421
- Dating an ex. • Would you? Why or why not? • Have you? Why or why not? #polyqotd #polysky #polyamory #poly #polyam #ethicalnonmonogamy #ENM #LoveEvolved
- Do you fear being “replaced” in polyamory? I suggest a reframe. “They aren't dating a new partner instead of me. It’s a new partner IN ADDITION to me.” #polyamory #poly #polyam #ethicalnonmonogamy #ENM #LoveEvolved
- WHAT DO YOU THINN: how long until we’ll see a candidate for a major federal office (Rep, Senator, or President) self-identify as ethically non-monogamous? Full story here: www.huffpost.com/entry/virgin... #polyqotd #polyamory #poly #polyam #ethicalnonmonogamy #ENM #LoveEvolved
- “Polyam relationships offer more love loving others without taking away from the love already established.” - Dr. Elisabeth Sheff Do you feel like you can love others without taking anything away from your existing relationship? Why or why not? #polyqotd #polyamory #poly #ENM #polysky
- THURSDAY IS TRASH DAY! What is something or someone you’d like to take out and leave to be picked up with the trash? Some examples could be: • “This cold that just won’t go away!” • “My aunt’s opinions about polyamory and my relationships.” • “My family's ridiculous judgment." #trashday
- Did you open your relationship to make someone else happy? #polysky #polyqotd #polyamory #poly #polyam #ethicalnonmonogamy #ENM #LoveEvolved
- My biggest polyamory green flag is __________. #polysky #polyqotd #polyamory #poly #polyam #ethicalnonmonogamy #ENM #LoveEvolved
- Because Science! #monochromemonday
- IMAGINE THIS: Your best friend calls and says, “My partner wants to open our relationship.” You want to be helpful. What’s the first bit of advice you share? #polysky #polyqotd #polyamory #poly #polyam #ethicalnonmonogamy #ENM #LoveEvolved
- HOW DO YOU HANDLE IT Your partner posts couple-y photos with someone new. What do you do? #polyqotd #polysky #polyamory #poly #polyam #ethicalnonmonogamy #ENM #LoveEvolved
- That “holy crap!” moment when you realize monogamy was never a choice but actually an enforced cultural narrative that is programmed into us by conservatism and fear from the time we are toddlers. (Turn the volume on.) #polyamory #polysky #monogamy
- I’m quite envious of how your blanket gets to be on top of you and I don’t. #feralfriday
- Do you let your existing partner know you've connected with someone new? If yes, when? #polyqotd #polyamory #poly #polyam #ethicalnonmonogamy #ENM #LoveEvolved
- What drains your energy faster? • Processing jealousy or envy in healthy ways or • Explaining to monogamous friends why you're “still polyamorous” #polysky #polyqotd #polyamory #poly #polyam #ethicalnonmonogamy #ENM #LoveEvolved
- Want to ruin your polyamorous relationships? Here are 17 ways to do it: • Don't communicate. Just assume. • Compare your partners constantly. • Ignore boundaries. • Use “I'm poly” as an excuse to cheat. • Talk about one partner way too much with another. 1/4 #polyamory #polysky #polyam
- • Keep secrets “to avoid drama.” • Avoid jealousy talks like the plague. • Weaponize your insecurities. • Cancel plans with one partner for another ... often. • Ignore your metas’ comfort levels. 2/4
- • Expect your partners to meet all your needs. • Refuse to learn about attachment styles. • Have no structure, agreements, or check-ins. • Treat new partners like shiny toys. • Trashtalk your partners behind their backs. • Assume everyone’s on the same page without asking. 3/4
- • Refuse to consider contacting me at thepolyadvisor.com to help.
- THURSDAY IS TRASH DAY! What is something or someone you’d like to take out and leave to be picked up with the trash? Some examples could be: • “This cold that won’t go away!” • “My aunt’s opinions about my relationships.” • “This guilt I feel from the people who say they love me!” #trashday
- FIRST DATE IDEA: Meet up at Barnes and Noble. Head over to the cookbook section and pick out three based on places you’ve visiited or want to travel to. Go to the cafe and order some chai or hot cocoa. Look at the beautiful pictures together and talk about why the place was special. 🧵 1/2
- Then pick out a recipe that you’ll make together on your second date. 👨🍳🍲💕 (P.S. Anyone interested in doing this in the LA area?) 🧵 2/2
- A praise kink is more than just calling them “good girl” or “good boy.” It could also be: “keep being good for me” “you're mine” “you feel fucking amazing” “that's my girl / boy” “you're making me crazy” “you do it so good” "Well done Kitten / Tiger” “I love how you take me” “you're so perfect”
- More praise kinks: “look how good you ____" "That's my good girl/boy” “You’re so beautiful” “I feel safe with you” “You feel like home” “I wanna kiss your face” “You’re such a good girl/boy” “You listen so well”
- Do you have a “work wife” or “work husband?” If yes, has being polyamorous made that easier or harder for you? #polysky #polyqotd #polyamory #poly #polyam #ethicalnonmonogamy #ENM
- FILL IN THE BLANK: I feel the most “seen” in polyamory when __________. #polysky #polyamory #poly #polyam #ethicalnonmonogamy #ENM #LoveEvolved
- Your task: Describe how your latest “first date” went down. The fun part: You get 6 words or less. Go! #polysky #polyqotd #polyamory #poly #polyam #ethicalnonmonogamy #ENM #LoveEvolved
- SOMETHING TO REMEMBER: In polyamory, their interest isn’t your trophy. It’s just a spark. You decide if it lights a fire or burns itself out trying to reach you. #polysky #polyamory #poly #polyam #ethicalnonmonogamy #ENM #LoveEvolved
- Haircut selfie. The before and after weren't quite as dramatic, but I still felt confident during my job interview this morning. #confidence
- No shame here. When the vibes are good, what’s your next move? Helpful definition: Your metamour is your partner’s partner. Example: Han loves Leia Leia also loves Ackbar Han and Ackbar are metas.
- In polyamory, their interest isn’t your trophy. It’s just a spark. You decide if it lights a fire or burns itself out trying to reach you. #polysky
