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I just worry I'm never gonna fucking do anything. that there's never going to be anything that makes me sit back and go "ah, this was all worth it. this is why I'm alive." in a way that sticks with me
but anyway yeah basically tcg content creators are my own little torture device like how people look at happy families on facebook and instagram. I don't have the right mental illness to be truly parasocial about it so I'm just envious and depressed. maybe not all the time. but right now,yes
Feb 4, 2026 23:26I'm the wrong kind of person, inadequate to end up in the situations I long for. too fucked in the head to thrive. too obligated to everyone who knows me to die.
just algernon in decline.
