honey i am a guy & i shrunk the kids
type fast & never look back
#MDANT
I block without warning for sharing dogshit AI images
- running scared of andy burnham as a bit
- Reposted by honey i am a guy & i shrunk the kids
- mid-day kick-off to the tune of moonlight shadow
- if i were the world cup would you boycott me
- a separate world cup just for cool guys
- Reposted by honey i am a guy & i shrunk the kidsmy new year's resolutions are to recycle less and get into fraud
- Reposted by honey i am a guy & i shrunk the kidsStarted a post about how I'm not scared of Pennywise and would just kick him in his stupid clown balls but then I thought why risk it, dumb to even put myself on his radar, who needs the grief
- Reposted by honey i am a guy & i shrunk the kidsPatiently explaining to the greengrocer that one cannot 'own' fruit as his two enormous sons sit on my back while we wait for the police
- Reposted by honey i am a guy & i shrunk the kidsi never ask guests to take their shoes off when they come in but i do shave their heads
- Reposted by honey i am a guy & i shrunk the kidsbabe come over we've kidnapped jason donovan now we're panicking
- Reposted by honey i am a guy & i shrunk the kidshey babe come over i'm making a spreadsheet of all the female tennis players i could beat
- Reposted by honey i am a guy & i shrunk the kidssorry for telling people we met at a Waterloo Road fanfic convention
- Reposted by honey i am a guy & i shrunk the kidsit's a shame i never met the queen, she'd have loved that but sadly she was taken too soon
- the world is so crazy right now international men's day can't come soon enough
- Reposted by honey i am a guy & i shrunk the kidsI love it when gig night aligns with good hair day youtube.com/shorts/-6Ouv...
- this meeting could have been a conga
- I've just bought an apocalypse-proof boat in there I'd give it ten minutes
- "eight bedrooms, each with its own kettle & trouser press"
- every bad guy in america is lucky i'm over here rn and afraid of airports
- it's not the flying i just used to have a problem with giant toblerones
- Reposted by honey i am a guy & i shrunk the kidswait i'm a chinese spy too is that bad
- Reposted by honey i am a guy & i shrunk the kidsthings were much nicer back when people said yolo all the time
- asking my neighbours if they mind me being buried next to them when the time comes then telling them the time is 8pm next tuesday
- Reposted by honey i am a guy & i shrunk the kidswhen i see a good painting i post it & say i did it where's the harm in that
- Reposted by honey i am a guy & i shrunk the kidsdon't see the point in faster than light travel what's the rush if it's still dark when you get there
- Reposted by honey i am a guy & i shrunk the kidsWhen the heist goes tits up and Callard is your getaway
- Reposted by honey i am a guy & i shrunk the kidswhen i die i want my hands made into whimsical ashtrays
- Reposted by honey i am a guy & i shrunk the kidsThe look on Tom Petty's face when he found out he only got in the Wilburys bc I said no will haunt me forever
- Reposted by honey i am a guy & i shrunk the kidsscreaming where has your mouth gone where has your mouth gone whenever someone turns their head away
- Reposted by honey i am a guy & i shrunk the kidsGoing through my mate's old copies of Pop Shop magazine
- Reposted by honey i am a guy & i shrunk the kidsblueberries are annoying cos they look poisonous but then you eat some and you're fine
- Reposted by honey i am a guy & i shrunk the kidsjust remembered when i misunderstood how much mushroom chocolate i was supposed to eat and spent half an hour fiddling with the thermostat trying to dim the kitchen lights, which aren't even on a dimmer
- Reposted by honey i am a guy & i shrunk the kidsexcuse my nervous laughter I saw a yeti eat my uncle maurice when I was nine
- "what they don't know is the boats have been cursed by a powerful witch"
- my wonderful, clever, modest, chaotic, enigmatic, generous, brave, bohemian, charismatic, infuriating, funny, cultured, charming and unfailingly kind pal toby passed away peacefully yesterday morning after several months of illness which he bore with extraordinary grace and i will miss him terribly.
- thanks for all the kind words guys x
- Reposted by honey i am a guy & i shrunk the kids[This post could not be retrieved]
- kash patel be like:
- Reposted by honey i am a guy & i shrunk the kidsIf you look closely during Die Hard you will see the muzzles of the machine guns are wrapped in bacon and the bullets are actually made from brandy butter shaped and frozen
- Reposted by honey i am a guy & i shrunk the kidsThey should name these storm winds after people whose names actually relate to the type of weather. Like Hurricane Higgins, Windy Miller, Gale Platt.
- *taps the sign, which you won't see bc i've just blocked you
- 75% of the ones that turn up in my feed these days are anti-Trump stuff by well-meaning American democrats and that makes it worse somehow
- Reposted by honey i am a guy & i shrunk the kids[This post could not be retrieved]
- Reposted by honey i am a guy & i shrunk the kids
- Reposted by honey i am a guy & i shrunk the kidsWhy would Nicholas Lyndhurst spend a Friday afternoon tweeting things like ‘Yes, it is I, the plonker himself’.
- Reposted by honey i am a guy & i shrunk the kidsno exaggeration, i've received so many texts like this from my pal toby over the years
- thoughts & prayers with the dozen people affected by this
- Reposted by honey i am a guy & i shrunk the kids100 movies i must watch before you die
- Reposted by honey i am a guy & i shrunk the kidspeople who like & repost you all the time but absolutely refuse to follow you are extremely impressive to me, 10/10 adult boundary-setting
- Reposted by honey i am a guy & i shrunk the kidsPylon
- i have a very boring and fiddly farm job to do all morning but on the plus side i get to do it outside in the pissing rain
- Fuck me that was grim
- Just saw a Mini Estate, basically a car with a mullet
- Increasingly aware that I am the last man on Earth who still calls trousers strides
- Reposted by honey i am a guy & i shrunk the kidsLondon backgrounds from 101 Dalmatians, 1961
- Reposted by honey i am a guy & i shrunk the kidsIn other news, the Guardian is now running scam ads. This is what happens when you choose to data harvest your readers with surveillance adtech & run shitty programmatic ads…a literal fake BBC news report (starring @martinlewis.moneysavingexpert.com) embedded into an actual news report
- yeah not bad mate thanks for asking
- 😎
- Reposted by honey i am a guy & i shrunk the kids[Waking from a ten year coma]: Licerace, basically Liberace but he's made of licorice
- Reposted by honey i am a guy & i shrunk the kids[waking up from a coma]: i had the weirdest dream nurse [brushing my antennae with her forewings]: was it the biped one, that's very common
- Reposted by honey i am a guy & i shrunk the kidsit's been such a great harvest thanks derek & josie for burning those guys in the moonlight the silent one is waking
- Reposted by honey i am a guy & i shrunk the kidsthrow away your alarm clocks and be kissed into waking
- Reposted by honey i am a guy & i shrunk the kidsthe dream of course is to come from a country that invades *everywhere* but like really ethically
- Reposted by honey i am a guy & i shrunk the kidsi say many a year instead of many years cos it's one syllable more and i like wasting people's time
- Reposted by honey i am a guy & i shrunk the kidsWoman with large mole-like hands wanted for romance and long-term digging projects
- Reposted by honey i am a guy & i shrunk the kidstelling cold callers 'you sound like a juicy boy, please continue'
- Reposted by honey i am a guy & i shrunk the kidsmaking noises like a pig going down a waterslide and remembering something important halfway down
- Reposted by honey i am a guy & i shrunk the kidsgoing door to door asking if anyone would like to write a song about me
- Reposted by honey i am a guy & i shrunk the kidsif anyone talks to you just grab your toes and roll away like a wheel
- Reposted by honey i am a guy & i shrunk the kidslumbering urgently along the street like a sack of potatoes that can't wait to be fries
- Reposted by honey i am a guy & i shrunk the kidsit's not a mule in a casino but i'd still like an explanation, larry
- Reposted by honey i am a guy & i shrunk the kidsBarnardo's is my favourite charity bc it sounds like a provincial 80s winebar & nightclub
