Sint
Eh.
- Being chosen is a burden also
- I live in a superposition every possible outcome is right here
- The sint always wins
- I will be the first man to marry a website
- Saw an objectively gorgeous woman today and not a pore on my body dilated
- You never understand the stupid decisions that people make until you make a few yourself and I am a very understanding man
- I just had the thought that if Superman were actually real and were disappointed in me, I would legitimately be upset
- If you are ever nervous about anything ask yourself these three questions: 1. Could it kill you 2. Could it put you in jail 3. Could it put you in debt
- 10K in debt looking for a girlfriend
- I wouldn’t mind getting kidnapped as long as I could play video games at the crib
- Try slug therapy. Changed my life.
- He code switched on me
- I prefer foot jobs because they promote creative problem solving skills
- Being ugly and horny is inherently shameful
- Wizards in WW1 would have their conduits attached under the barrel of their gun like a bayonet
- I’ve come here to pay my light bill and spit in assholes, and brother, I’m overdraft.
- When I was getting put into a 51-50 hold the psychiatrist I had to speak to first said I looked like I’ve been having a rough year and that pissed me off so badly
- They’ve been working on hemorrhoid suppositories like the manhattan project that shit really works
- If I became Superman tomorrow I’d still have a porn addiction
- Melting in queen xenomorph period
- All your ancestors taught tooth and nail so that you can cry fart and jerk off in bed
- I killed a man once because I saw it in a comic book
- No premarital masturbation.
- A father that congratulates your cousin on posting on instagram but not you for having a job and steady income
- Is big giant ass the secret to fart
- *trying to impress the girl I’m with* my foreskin is so tight I can’t even pull it back.
- You study magic long enough, it just becomes fucking gay ass math.
- Me and my retarded cousin
- Legally changing my name to “Terrorist Miguel”
- *man who could mind control me with a scarab* Hey do you fw bugs?
- Sleeping in a bed with unfolded laundry and an unjerked off penis. Sigh.
- Familiar…
- Got Taco Bell instead of hanging myself
- When I was on a 51-50 hold the ladies at the facility would flirt with a lot of the people on hold in there
- *tit fucks your balls*
- In the gym listening to Chet baker gonna hang myself once I’m home
- I call people who drive EVs “Teslers”
