Shaun
I'm on that app X as @LFCShaunJudge
Massive Liverpool fan
Time for a change and I will banter your football team 😂
- Alright stop...
- After 30 minutes 😂😂
- Getting the treats ready for trick or treat...
- I Pulled out a nose hair today to see if it hurt... Judging by the reaction of the man asleep next to me on the train it seems pretty painful...
- Beto missed this btw 😂😂
- In a span of 17 years 114 people died in accidents while at the gym... In the same 17 years only one man died while eating a donut... Life is about the choices you make...
- Thomas Partey is no longer an unnamed male from north London... He's now a named man from north London...
- In Britain we call it a lift in America they call it an elevator... I suppose we are raised differently....
- Independence Day today... Honestly only America could have a day off to celebrate a movie…
- I cba with X anymore... So many woke virgins with so much hate for people they will never meet... All for attention...
- What a shit colouring book...
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- My favourite teacher at school was Mr Turtle.... I can’t believe how much he taught us..
- So texted the Mrs.. Said send me a picture of your tits... She replied no way... So I said sorry wrong number...
- When I found out my toaster wasn't waterproof... I was shocked...
- If you've never tried blindfold archery... You don't know what you're missing...
- Three years ago my doctor told me l was going deaf... I haven't heard from him since...
- What is a four-letter word with a small laugh in the middle....
- This is your captain speaking... We are now flying over 20,000 feet...
- I told my Mrs she was drawing her eyebrows too high... She looked surprised...
- I met my mrs at a singles night... I was surprised because I thought she was home with the kids...
- Amal and Juan are identical twins... Their mom only carries one baby photo in her wallet... Because if you've seen Juan you've seen Amal..
- A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt... Archaeologists believe it may be Pharaoh Rocher...
- Anyone know where the Tesco staff Christmas party is this year... I've been using the self-checkout all year so figured I'd go along...
- Last night I farted on the bus and three passengers turned around.. I felt like I was on the voice...
- I was working on a building site and the delivery driver said why won't you sign for these elevators... I said I'm not allowed to accept lifts off strangers...
- It was eleven years ago today my best mate James came running out of the room shouting "It's a boy!" with tears streaming down his face... We never went back to Thailand...
- During the war my grandfather served as the regimental Christmas tree.. He didn’t see much action but he was highly decorated...
- Why is there so much click bait around... Answer in first comment...
- Not saying it's windy but my wheelie bin is on a Speed Awareness course on Tuesday...
- My mate’s been trying for ages to get a job... So I said to him try the Search & Rescue Organisation…. They’re always looking for someone...
- Breaking...
- Taking part in a charity forklift event... We're hoping to raise loads... 😂😂
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- Watch out for the strong gails today...
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- It used to be a Christmas tradition for our whole family to go down the pub come home after a few hours and deck the halls... To be honest I'm surprised the Halls carried on living next door for as long as they did...
- Hearing aid for sale... Give me a shout if interested...
- Now on ITV... The masked Singer...
- Football manager last time Everton won something...
- 3 golf clubs walk into a bar.. The putter orders a beer.. The wedge orders a wine and the third one says just a coke for me I'm the driver...
