Emily Riesbeck, Professional Monster
⚧️ she/her. A mixture of delicious and freak. Author: It's Your Funeral, Mountain, The Pirate and the Porcelain Girl (Out NOW!!!). Repped by Au Literary Management.
Website: emilyriesbeck.com
- Me when PT Barnum writes about Charity wanting to switch churches because their universalist minister wasn't hard-line abolitionist enough for her.
- Every three months Barnum gets back from some epic tour of america or europe and says "I am tired of this hustle and bustle, i am a family man now i will never again be an itinerant performer" and then Moses Kimball says 'hey man want to go be itinerant performers' and barnum is like 👀👀👀
- Almost done with my PT Barnum biography and every time his wife Charity has appeared in the book i am shaking my head and muttering "that poor woman."
- just had a job interrview. feeling pretty good about it. I'm barely making rent RN so this job would be a life raft for me. wish me fish!
- Why tf don't people want to put in their pin when they use debit?
- Was trying to help a custo in cosmetics and didn't know exactly the fucking mascara she wanted so she exacerbated said: I need a girl! Me: ......I am a woman. Her: *literally shouting* REALLY?!?!?! 😱 Y'all....
- Need a friend to follow me around and when I say something like "why did I get these tits if everyone is still gonna call me sir" they need to give me a smooch and say "babe you got those tits for you."
- One of those clock in to work and instantly feel like the walls are closing in type days
- got a pick of him today begging his dad (my brother) for his "birthday fish" 🥺
- my nephew turned 4 yesterday. Among the gifts his cool gay aunts (us) got him is: tinned Mackerel, trout and salmon, because apparently this kid loves tinned fish.
