Goddamnit, Wolfe
Depressed beardy vegan enby. Not that one, the other one. The one with the name. Yes, it’s real.
Not a gainer, not into it, just a Blastoise.
I don’t fuck with racists, transphobes, or religions
I do fuck with spring rolls, beards, and coffee
🍉
- Take the trash out kiddo Even if it’s 1am and it’s all you can manage for the day
- Life hack, post a dick pic just before you go for a nap You’ll either sleep through your shame if it bombs, or you’ll wake up to people saying they like your moisture seeking missile
- You know, I didn’t hate this one
- That’s enough being awake time for me today.
- Return of the funbags because I’m having a hot flush
- My mother just mis referred to a clean and jerk as a “snatch and gape”. She’s 65, I can’t tell if it’s more dangerous to tell her, or not tell her.
- I hope you’re all enjoying your break from my constant hooters pics
- My sweater meat will not be returning in the latest Avengers slop Idk just wait for me to need attention again.
- Waited all night for this shittttt 🖤
- Got coffee✔️ Polished the pork sword ✔️✔️ Ate three donuts✔️ Tumbled into bed for a post nut nap✔️ Dyed beard Brought down capitalism
- Honestly, if I don’t respond immediately the best thing you can do is send me another five messages ending with an aggressive rant. I’m definitely not just living an actual life or busy, and the final vague yet insulting message is absolutely what drops my panties.
- Re obsessed with rice cooker meals
- Just wanted to know if I could pull them off tbh
- Missing a few meals lately really did me no harm
- Me: ok this is it. Year of the slut. Scruff: how funny would it be if we took away your ability to send messages and just didn’t fucking tell you?
- I forget that everyone knows everyone in the community Mainly because everyone just knows /of/ me, I only appear to a handful of people and then disappear at midnight for another half decade nap.
- Doesn’t matter who you are, I have absolutely lived around the corner from you, throated one of your exes, ran past you with an iced coffee in sub zero weather, and disappeared in the dead of night from your city on a whim one day.
- Ok but if I close the jinbei how does my chest breathe?
- Being ill for so long really had me pent up RIP Mr Fleshlight, Nov 2025 - January 2026
- Also broke the second TV, but that wasn’t with my beef torpedo
- I’m why we can’t have nice things
- My plan is to remain the exact same person because if you don’t like me, fucking cry about it. But like, to someone who cares if you live.
